Civil War Song Parodies
by BaronCat40
Summary: Parodies of songs from the American Civil War using characters and events from the Lord of the Rings.
1. The Uruk Soldier

**This is the start of a new series of parodies of Civil War songs.**

 **The Uruk Soldier (The Southern Soldier, Confederate)**

I'll place my armor on my back  
My hobbit on my shoulder  
I'll march away with the Uruk-Hai  
And kill that Gondor soldier  
I'll kill that Gondor soldier  
I'll march away with the Uruk-Hai  
And kill that Gondor soldier

I'll kill the orcs and Uruks too,  
And eat their guts with gusto,  
I will go and join in the bloody brawl  
Till we get some manflesh,

Till we get some manflesh,  
I'll go and join in the bloody brawl  
Till we get some manflesh,

If I am shot on the battlefield  
And I should not recover  
Oh who kill all those cruel men,  
And shoot that Elven archer,  
Who'll shoot that Elven archer,  
Oh who will kill all those cruel men  
And shoot that Elven archer.

And if our evil cause is lost  
And Sauron comes to find us,  
We'll be ground beneath old Sauron's heel  
For our loss of the battle,  
For our loss of the battle,  
We'll be ground beneath old Sauron's heel  
For our loss of the battle.

Before Saruman shall bow his head  
Before the Nazgûl harm us  
I'll give my all to the evil cause  
And die in the Uruk army  
I'll die in the Uruk army  
I'll give my all to the evil cause  
and I'll die in the Uruk army

If I must die for Saruman  
My spirit will not falter  
Here's my heart and here's my hand  
Upon that wizard's alter  
Upon that wizard's alter  
Here's my heart and here's my hand  
Upon that wizard's alter.

And Morgoth be with us in the strife  
Be with the Uruk soldier!  
We'll drive our mercenary horde  
Right through Gondor's border  
Right through Gondor's border  
We'll drive our mercenary horde  
Right through Gondor's border.

 **Please review! Feel free to suggest songs.**


	2. Good Ol' Wizard

**I'm a good old wizard (I'm a good old rebel, Confederate)**

 **I forgot to put a link to the original lyrics of the previous song:**

**The lyrics to this song (warning: minor cursing):** **.**

 **Now the song:**

Oh, I'm a good old Wizard, **  
**Now that's just what I am; **  
**For this fair land of goodness, **  
**I do not care a damn. **  
**I'm glad I fit against it- **  
**I only wish I'd won **  
**And I don't want no pardon **  
**For anything I've done. ****

I hates all the Rohirrim **  
**The Gondorians too; **  
**I hates old Gandalf Greyhame, **  
**In glowing robes of white, **  
**I hates the nasty eagles, **  
**With all their loyalty, **  
**But the lyin', thievin' hobbits, **  
**I hates' em wuss and wuss.

I hates the free races,

And everything they do

I hates the delecaration

Of independence too;

I hates the glorious Council(1),

'tis dripping with out blood

I hates the tree of Gondor,

I fit it all I could.

I followed old mass Sauron

For seventy year about.

Got wounded in three places,

and breed the Uruk-Hai,

I catched the rheumatism

A messing with the snow,

But I killed a chance of good guys,

I'd like to kill some more. **  
**

Three hundered thousand good guys

Is stiff in evil dust.  
We got three hundred thousand **  
**Befo' they conquered us. **  
**They died of Uruk fever, **  
**And Uruk spear and sword **  
**And I wish it was three million **  
**Instead of what we got. ****

I can't take up my majic **  
**And fight' em now no mo', **  
**But I ain't a-goin'to love' em, **  
**Now that is sartin sho'; **  
**And I don't want no pardon **  
**For what I was and am; **  
**And I won't give up the Shire, **  
**And I do not give a damn.

 **Please review and suggest! The next song will be a parody of "Wearing of the Grey," another Confederate lament song (but a much less hateful one).**

 **(1): The White Council**


	3. Wearing of the Grey

**The Wearing of the Grey (The Wearing of the Grey, Confederate)**

 **Link to original lyrics:**

 **www.**

 **Tune: "Wearing of the Green"**

 **This is Gandalf's protests to being made White Wizard (he likes the grey better). I'll probably do another version of this later that carries that actual meaning of the original song.**

The fearful struggle's ended now and peace smiles on our land,

And I've not yielded and have proved myself a faithful man(1).

I fought him long, I fought him well, I fought him night and day,

And bravely struggled for my life while wearing of the gray.

.

And now that I have ceased to fight a cast him down the hill,

Though we against old Sauron's might still have to draw the sword,

I feel despite the sneers of those who never smelt the fray,

And I demand the honest right to wearing of the gray.

.

Our cause is lost the less we fight 'gainst o'erwhelming power,

All wearied are my limbs and drenched with gallons of Balrog blood,

I feign my rest for want of strength in yielding up the day,

And faint upon the tower top while wearing of the grey.

.

My vict'ry should not cause a mass of overconfidence,

I was sent back from Valinor until my task is done

And though you wept for me when I fell down the chasm,

Climbed up the steps and nobly died while wearing of the gray.

.

Though in the ranks of war we stand and face the deadly hail,

My simple suit of gray composed my only coats of mail.

And on the awful hours that marked the bloody battle days,

In memories I will still be seen wearing of the gray.

.

Oh! when we reach that glorious place where wait some evil orcs,

For everyone who for the good his soldier life lays down.

We fight to death on that grim day with all of Sauron's orcs

And I will fight along your side while wearing of the grey.

.

 **Please review and feel free to suggest!**

 **(1): I know Gandalf was not a man; please do not spam me with reviews correcting me.**


	4. Eating Snaga's guts

**Eating Snaga's guts (Eating Goober Peas, Confederacy)**

 **Link to original lyrics:** **/Civil_War_Music/song_lyrics/goober_peas_lyrics_civil_**

 **Tune: Eating Goober Peas (** **watch?v=qew8L32hqD8** **)**

 **This is the song the orcs sing as they go about their daily fights.**

Sitting by the roadside on a summer's day,  
Chatting with my orc-mates, passing time away  
Lying in the shadows in a dirty rut,  
Goodness, how delicious, eating Snaga's(1) guts.

Guts, guts, guts, guts,  
Eating Snaga's guts.  
Goodness, how delicious,  
Eating Snaga's guts.

When a horse-man passes, the soldiers have a rule  
To stab out at their strongest, until he is dead.  
But another custom, enchantinger than these  
Is wearing out your grinders, eating snaga's guts.

Guts, guts, guts, guts,  
Eating Snaga's guts.  
Goodness, how delicious,  
Eating Snaga's guts.

Just before the battle, Ugluck hears a row  
He says "The Horsemen are a-coming, I hear their gallop now."  
He looks down the roadway, and what d'ya think he sees?  
The Uruk-Hai army, eating Snaga's guts.

Guts, guts, guts, guts,  
Eating Snaga's guts.  
Goodness, how delicious,  
Eating Snaga's guts.

I think my song has lasted just about enough.  
The subject is interesting, but the rhymes are mighty rough.  
I wish the war was over, so free from elves and men,  
We'd kill all over our comrades, eating Snaga's guts.

Guts, guts, guts, guts,  
Eating Snaga's guts.  
Goodness, how delicious,  
Eating Snaga's guts.

 **Please review and feel free to suggest!**

 **(1): The rough equivalent to "random idiot" it orchish. So yes, you CAN eat the more than one set of Snaga's guts.**


	5. Battle Cry of Freedom

**Thanks to absolutely nobody for reviewing! If you review, I'll know people actually want me to continue the story. If you don't, I'll have to stop continuing it.**

 **Killing the Orcs Along with Nazgûl (The Battle Cry of Freedom, Union)**

 **Tune: Battle Cry of Freedom**

Oh, we'll rally round the hobbits,  
We'll rally once again  
Killing the orcs along with Nazgûl  
We will rally from the hillside  
We'll gather from the plain  
Killing the orcs along with Nazgûl

Free races forever  
Hurrah elves hurrah  
Down with the evil, up with the good  
While we rally round the hobbits,  
Rally once again  
Killing the orcs along with Nazgûl!

We are springing to the call  
Of the hobbits gone before,  
Killing the orcs along with Nazgûl  
And we'll fill the vacant ranks  
With a million archers more  
Killing the orcs along with Nazgûl

Free races forever  
Hurrah elves hurrah  
Down with the evil, up with the good  
While we rally round the hobbits,  
Rally once again  
Killing the orcs along with Nazgûl!

We will welcome to our numbers  
The loyal, true and brave  
Killing the orcs along with Nazgûl  
And although they may be poor,

They shall never be a slave,  
Shouting the battle cry of freedom

Free races forever  
Hurrah elves hurrah  
Down with the evil, up with the good  
While we rally round the hobbits,  
Rally once again  
Killing the orcs along with Nazgûl!

So we're springing to the call  
From the Elves and from the Men  
Killing the orcs along with Nazgûl  
And we'll hurl old Sauron's crew  
From the land he loves the best  
Killing the orcs along with Nazgûl

Free races forever  
Hurrah elves hurrah  
Down with the evil, up with the good  
While we rally round the hobbits,  
Rally once again  
Killing the orcs along with Nazgûl!

 **The Warning Bells of Doomsday (Battle Cry of Freedom, Confederate Parody)**

The eye is proudly seeing o'er the land and o'er the main,

Ring, ring the warning bells of Doomsday,

Beneath it oft we've conquered, and we'll conquer oft again!

Ring, ring the warning bells of Doomsday.

Our Mordor forever! She's never at a loss!

Down with the elf-lords, and up with the orc!

We'll rally 'round the evil eye, we'll rally once again,

Ring, ring the warning bells of Doomsday!

Our gallant trolls have marched to the rolling of the drums.

Ring, ring the warning bells of Doomsday!

And the leaders in charge cry out, "Run, maggots, run"

Ring, ring the warning bells of Doomsday!

Our Mordor forever! She's never at a loss!

Down with the elf-lords, and up with the orc!

We'll rally 'round the evil eye, we'll rally once again,

Ring, ring the warning bells of Doomsday!

They have laid down their lives on the bloody battle field.

Ring, ring the warning bells of Doomsday!

Their motto is to kill, so -"We'll get manflesh to eat!"

Ring, ring the warning bells of Doomsday!

Our Mordor forever! She's never at a loss!

Down with the elf-lords, and up with the orc!

We'll rally 'round the evil eye, we'll rally once again,

Ring, ring the warning bells of Doomsday!

While our orcs have responded and to the fields have gone.

Ring, ring the warning bells of Doomsday!

Our noble Nazgûl also have aided them at home (1).

Ring, ring the warning bells of Doomsday!

Our Mordor forever! She's never at a loss!

Down with the elf-lords, and up with the orc!

We'll rally 'round the evil eye, we'll rally once again,

Ring, ring the warning bells of Doomsday!

 **Please review and feel free to suggest!**

 **(1): By killing any dissenters**


	6. Gondor is a Hard Road to Travel

**Thanks to LadyOfAnfalas for reviewing!**

 **Gondor is a Hard Road to Travel (Richmond is a Hard Road to Travel, Confederate)**

 **This is a song sung by the Men, Elves, and Dwarves (the "Good Guys") mocking the attempts of the Orcs (the "Bad Guys") to take Gondor.**

 **Sorry about the periods at the line breaks, but I figure it's much easier to read in verse form, and Fanfiction deletes empty lines for some reason.**

Would you like to hear my song? I'm afraid it's rather long

Of the famous "On to Gondor" double trouble,

Of the half-a-dozen trips and half-a-dozen slips

And the very latest bursting of the bubble.

'Tis pretty hard to sing and like a round, round ring

'Tis a dreadful knotty puzzle to unravel;

Though all the papers swore, when we touched Anduin's shore

That Gondor was a hard road to travel.

.

Then pull off your coat and roll up your sleeve,

Gondor is a hard road to travel

Then pull off your coat and roll up your sleeve

For Gondor is a hard road to travel, I believe.

.

First, the Nazgûl, bold and gay, set forth the shortest way,

To the Shire in the pleasant summer weather,

But unfortunately ran on a Gandalf, foolish men,

And had a "rocky journey"(1) altogether;

And they found it rather hard to ride to "Mor-e-dor",

And Witch-King proved a deuce of a bother,

And 'twas clear beyond a doubt that he didn't like the mount,

And a second time would have to try another.

.

Then pull off your coat and roll up your sleeve,

For the Shire is a hard road to travel;

The Hobbits gave us fits, and the river made us grieve,

For Gondor is a hard road to travel, I believe!

.

Next came the Saruman, with an overwhelming force,

To march down to Rohan by the Valley,

But he couldn't find the road, and his "onward movement" showed

His campaigning was a mere shilly-shally.

Then the Fellowship of Rings, with his Wizard, bold and white,

Kicking up a great noise, fuss, and flurry,

Lost his hold on Théoden, and with tears in his eyes,

From the Gandalf ran away in a hurry.

.

Then pull off your coat and roll up your sleeve,

For Rohan is a hard road to travel;

Edoras wouldn't do and we all had to leave,

For Gondor is a hard road to travel, I believe!

.

Then the Uruk army, came, with its torches all aflame,

And the Berserkers, the famous Uruk wonders,

And the their bombs at Helm's deep wall gave them speedily enough,

Entry to the courtyard of slaughter.

The Elf-lord was astonished and the Théoden admonished,

Our patent sword and spear were mocked at,

While the dreadful Uruk-Hai, by the hardest kind of luck,

Were knocked into the Ent-infested forest,

.

Then pull off your coat and roll up your sleeve,

For Helm's Deep is a hard road to travel;

The Uruks gave it up in terror and despair,

For Gondor is a hard road to travel, I declare!

.

Then Saruman, followed soon, both with spade and balloon,

To cut down all the Fangorn forest,

But one and all agreed that their best rate of speed

Was no faster than the slowest of "slow coaches."

Instead of easy ground, at Isengard, he found,

A Treebeard indeed, and nothing shorter,

And it put him in the dumps, that Uruks wasn't trumps,

And all of Isengard was flooded.

.

Then pull off your coat and roll up your sleeve

For Fangorn is a hard road to travel -

Lay down the hatchet, and throw away the spade!

For Gondor is a hard road to travel, I'm afraid!

.

Then the Easterlings were sent,

To Erebor they went,

To destroy the universal Dwarvish nation,

To make sure of no defeat, they left, no lines of retreat,

And killed the kings of Dale and the Dwarf lands.

But on that same dreaded mountain, thes fellows laid thier whacks,

And many died a very painful death,,

And they all took rapid flight from Erebor's second fight,

'Twas their very last appearance as an army.

.

Then pull off your coat and roll up your sleeve,

For the Mountain is a hard road to travel;

The Easterlings tried hard, but were evidently sold,

For Gondor is a hard road to travel, I am told!

.

Last of all the brave Witch-King, with his Orcish army, tried

A road no one had thought of before him,

With two hundred thousand orcs for the Gondor slaughter pen,

And the cursed Mordor flag waving o'er him;

But he met a fire like hell, of long-dead men and bow,

That mowed his men down with great slaughter,

'Twas a shocking sight to view, the Pelennor Fields held true,

And the river ran with more blood than water.

.

Then pull off your coat and roll up your sleeve,

Minas Tirith is a hard road to travel

Witch-king got in a trap, which caused him for to grieve

For Gondor is a hard road to travel, I believe!

.

We are very much perplexed to know who is the next

To command the new Gondor expedition,

For the Capital must blaze, and that in ninety days,

And Aragorn be sent to perdition.

We'll take the cursed town, and then we'll burn it down,

And plunder and hang up each cursed free-race;

Yet the contraband was right when he told us they would fight

"Oh, yes, massa, they fight like the devil!"

.

Then pull off your coat and roll up your sleeve,

For Gondor is a hard road to travel;

Then pull off your coat and roll up your sleeve,

For Gondor is a hard road to travel, I believe!"

 **Please review and feel free to suggest! The next one will be a parody of "John Brown's Body", "Sauron's Body"**

 **(1): Gandalf added the rocks to the river the swept away the Nazgûl, so they ran into Gandalf and had a rocky journey.**


	7. Sauron's Body

**Thanks to LadyOfAnfalas and TimC34 for reviewing!**

 **Sauron's Body (John Brown's Body, Union)**

 **Tune: Say, Brothers, Will you Meet us (also used for the Battle Hymn of the Republic)**

 **This version is actually the version by William Patton. The original version is much more repetitive, so I chose this version to have more room to work in.  
**

 **Sorry about the spaces in the chorus. I can't figure out how to remove them. It seems there is not actually a line between the written lines, and it's not like that on my word document.**

Old Sauron's body lies moldering in the grave,  
While cheer the free races whom he ventured to enslave;  
But though he lost his life while struggling for the orc,  
His soul is marching on.

Nazgûl, Nazgûl, find the One Ring,

Nazgûl, Nazgûl, find the One Ring,

Nazgûl, Nazgûl, find the One Ring,

His ring is marching on!

Sauron was a hero, undaunted, true and brave,  
And Witch-king knows his valor when he fought his rights to save;  
Now, tho the grass fails to grow above his grave,  
His ring is marching on.

Nazgûl, Nazgûl, find the One Ring,

Nazgûl, Nazgûl, find the One Ring,

Nazgûl, Nazgûl, find the One Ring,

His ring is marching on

He captured GollumSmeagol, with his nine Nazgûl so few,  
And frightened "Gandalf Greybeard" till he trembled thru and thru;  
They killed him like a traitor, themselves the traitor crew,  
But his ring is marching on.

Nazgûl, Nazgûl, find the One Ring,

Nazgûl, Nazgûl, find the One Ring,

Nazgûl, Nazgûl, find the One Ring,

His ring is marching on

Sauron will sound the trumpets in the age we are to see  
Orcs will rule the Elves and Men and crush them into dust,  
And soon throughout all Middle Earth the Orcs shall all be free,  
For his Ring is marching on.

Nazgûl, Nazgûl, find the One Ring,

Nazgûl, Nazgûl, find the One Ring,

Nazgûl, Nazgûl, find the One Ring,

His ring is marching on

The conflict that he heralded he looks from Mordor to view,  
On the army of the Uruks, with its flag red, white and black.  
And Rohan shall ring with warnings o'er the deed they mean to do,  
For his Ring is marching on.

Nazgûl, Nazgûl, find the One Ring,

Nazgûl, Nazgûl, find the One Ring,

Nazgûl, Nazgûl, find the One Ring,

His ring is marching on

Ye soldiers of Mordor, then strike, while strike ye may,  
The death blow of oppression in a better time and way,  
For the dawn of old Sauron has brightened into day,  
And his Ring is marching on.

Nazgûl, Nazgûl, find the One Ring,

Nazgûl, Nazgûl, find the One Ring,

Nazgûl, Nazgûl, find the One Ring,

His ring is marching on

 **Please review and feel free to suggest! Next will be a parody of "Dixie," Mordor, suggested by TimC34.**


	8. Mordor (Dixie)

**Thanks to LadyOfAnfalas for reviewing!**

 **Mordor (Dixie, Confederate)**

 **This one was suggested by TimC34**

Oh, I wish I was in the land of ashes  
Old times there are not forgotten  
Look away! Look away!  
Look away! Sauron's Land

In Sauron's land where I was born in  
Right out of a deep, deep mud pit  
Look away! Look away!  
Look away! Sauron's Land

.

Oh, I wish I was in Mordor, Hooray! Hooray!  
In Sauron's land I'll take my stand  
To live and die in Mordor  
Away, away, away back east in Mordor  
Away, away, away back east in Mordor

.

Old Witch-King was the head of armies,  
Khamûl was a gay deceiver  
Look away! Look away!  
Look away! Sauron's Land

.

But when he put on his helmet,  
He shrieked as loud as shrieking Nazgûl  
Look away! Look away!  
Look away! Sauron's Land

.

Oh, I wish I was in Mordor, Hooray! Hooray!  
In Sauron's land I'll take my stand  
To live and die in Mordor  
Away, away, away back east in Mordor  
Away, away, away back east in Mordor

.

His sword was sharp as a butcher's cleaver  
And his Morgul blade enchanted  
Look away! Look away!  
Look away! Sauron's Land

.

Old Morgoth acted the foolish part  
And died like a man for Middle Earth(1)  
Look away! Look away!  
Look away! Sauron's Land

.

Oh, I wish I was in Mordor, Hooray! Hooray!  
In Sauron's land I'll take my stand  
To live and die in Mordor  
Away, away, away back east in Mordor  
Away, away, away back east in Mordor

.

There's maggoty bread and manflesh plenty,

Makes you fat or a little fatter.

Look away! Look away!

Look away! Sauron's Land.

.

Then hoe it down and scratch your gravel,

To Sauron's Land I'm bound to travel.

Look away! Look away!

Look away! Sauron's Land.

.

Oh, I wish I was in Mordor, Hooray! Hooray!  
In Sauron's land I'll take my stand  
To live and die in Mordor  
Away, away, away back east in Mordor  
Away, away, away back east in Mordor

.

Now here's a health to the next old Dark Lord  
And all the orcs that want to kill us  
Look away! Look away!  
Look away! Sauron's Land

.

But if you want to drive away sorrow  
Come and hear this song tomorrow  
Look away! Look away!  
Look away! Sauron's Land

.

Oh, I wish I was in Mordor, Hooray! Hooray!  
In Sauron's land I'll take my stand  
To live and die in Mordor  
Away, away, away back east in Mordor  
Away, away, away back east in Mordor

.

 **Please review and feel free to suggest!**


	9. The Mordorian Flag

**Thanks to LadyOfAnfalas for reviewing!**

 **[The Mordorian Flag (The Bonnie Blue Flag/We are a Band of Brothers, Confederate)]**

 **.**

We are a band of brothers

And native to the soil,

Fighting for the evil cause

With precious blood and toil;

And when our lives were threatened,

The cry rose near and far-

"Hurrah for the Mordorian flag

That bears a single eye!"

.

Hurrah! Hurrah!

For Orchish rights hurrah!

Hurrah for the Mordorian Flag

That bears a single eye.

.

As long as the Valar

Was faithful to our trust,

Like friends and like brothers

Both kind were we and just;

But now, when Western treachery

Attempts our rights to mar,

We hoist on high the Mordorian flag

That bears a single eye.

.

Hurrah! Hurrah!

For Orchish rights hurrah!

Hurrah for the Mordorian Flag

That bears a single eye.

.

First the gallant Melkor

Nobly made the stand,

Then came mighty Sauron

Who took him by the hand.

They made the evil races,

Orcs and cave-trolls too,

And raised on high the Mordorian Flag

That bears a single eye.

.

Hurrah! Hurrah!

For Orchish rights hurrah!

Hurrah for the Mordorian Flag

That bears a single eye.

.

Ye orcs of valor, gather round

The banner of the right;

Evil men and dragons large,

Join us in the fight.

Sauron, our loved president,

And Witch-King statesman are;

Now rally round the Mordorian Flag.

That bears a single eye.

.

Hurrah! Hurrah!

For Orchish rights hurrah!

Hurrah for the Mordorian Flag

That bears a single eye.

.

And here's to old Dul Guldor-

The abandoned fortress state-

Who with the old Evil Cause

At length has linked her fate;

Impelled by her example,

Now other states prepare

To hoist on high the Mordorian Flag

That bears a single eye.

.

Hurrah! Hurrah!

For Orchish rights hurrah!

Hurrah for the Mordorian Flag

That bears a single eye.

.

Then cheer, orcs, cheer;

Raise the joyous shout

For Saruman with Isengard

Now are going out;

And let another rousing cheer

For Uruk-Hai be given,

The single eye of the Mordorian Flag

Is flown now by eleven!(1)

.

Hurrah! Hurrah!

For Orchish rights hurrah!

Hurrah for the Mordorian Flag

That bears a single eye.

.

Then here's to our Orc Army

Strong are we and brave;

Like patriots of old we'll fight

Our heritage to save.

And rather than submit to shame,

To die we would prefer;

So cheer for the Mordorian Flag

That bears a single eye.

.

Hurrah! Hurrah!

For Orchish rights hurrah!

Hurrah for the Mordorian Flag

That bears a single eye.

 **.**

 **Please review and feel free to suggest!**

 **(1): Random small countries and groups of evil people**


	10. Invalid Corps

**Thanks to LadyOfAnflas for reviewing!**

 **Invalid Corps (Invalid Corps, Union)**

 **Unfortunately, I will be unable to update this for the next week as I am going away and will not have internet access or a computer. I will try to update again tomorrow but might not be able too. Check next Sunday for a definite update.**

 **This was a song about the Invalid Corps (later Veteran's Reserve Corps) operated during the Civil War to allow disabled soldiers to perform non-combat duties. For those of you who don't know, "invalid" is an older word for disabled persons.**

 **I highly encourage you to look this song up and listen to it before reading. The stressing and speed of each line tends to vary between verses.**

I wanted much to go to war,

And went to be examined;

The surgeon looked me o'er and o'er,

My back and chest he hammered.

Said he, "You're not the man for me,

Your lungs are much affected,

And likewise both your eyes are cock'd,

And otherwise defected."

.

So, now I'm with the Invalids,

And cannot go and fight, sir!

The doctor told me so, you know,

Of course it must be right, sir!

.

While I was there a host of chaps

For reasons were exempted,

Old Balrog, he fell down a pit,

To pass he had attempted.

The wizard said, "I do not like

Your attitude towards me, sir!

You'll burn all of my Fellowship

Wherever you might be, sir!"

.

So, now he's with the Invalids,

And cannot go and fight, sir!

The doctor told him so, you know,

Of course it must be right, sir!

 **.**

There came a cave troll, mighty tall,

With a spear lodged in his eyeball,

The Doctor said, "I ain't got time

To take and look you over."

Next came along a Nazgûl small,

Who was 'bout two foot nothing,

The Doctor said, "You'd better go

And tell old Witch-king you are coming!"

.

So, now they're with the Invalids,

And cannot go and fight, sir!

The doctor told 'em so, you know,

Of course it must be right, sir!

.

Some were sick of maggot bread,

And others wanted manflesh,

And some were "lank and lazy" too,

Some were too fond of orc-gut.

Some had "cork legs" and some "one eye",

With backs deformed and crooked,

I'll bet you'd laugh'd till you had cried,

To see how "cute" they look-ed.

.

So, now they're with the Invalids,

And cannot go and fight, sir!

The doctor told 'em so, you know,

Of course it must be right, sir!

.

 **Please review and feel free to suggest!**


	11. Killing Hobbits (Riding a Raid)

**Thanks to LadyOfAnfalas for reviewing!**

 **Killing Hobbits (Riding a Raid, Confederate)**

.

'Tis old Sauron the Dark Lord that leans on a troll,

And while we are mounting looks hard for his soul:

"Now each Nagûl here that loves evil and right(1),

Let him follow the helmet of Witch-king tonight."

.

Come tighten your girth and slacken your rein;

Come buckle your blanket and scabbard again;

Try the swish of your black robes and poison your blade,

For he must ride sure that goes killing hobbits.

.

Now gallop, now gallop to swim or to roll!

Old Sauron, still watching, learns hard on that troll:

"Goodbye, dear old Nazgûl! The river's not wide(2),

And Saruman's lights in his window to guide."

.

Come tighten your girth and slacken your rein;

Come buckle your blanket and scabbard again;

Try the swish of your black robes and poison your blade,

For he must ride sure that goes killing hobbits.

.

Gandalf's in the Shire with blood on his mouth!

If there's knaves in the West, there are braves in the East

We are nine Nagûl horses, and not one afraid;

We are nine Morgul sabres and not a dull blade.

.

Come tighten your girth and slacken your rein;

Come buckle your blanket and scabbard again;

Try the swish of your black robes and poison your blade,

For he must ride sure that goes killing hobbits.

.

 **Please review and feel free to suggest!**

 **(1): From their perspective, evil is right**

 **(2): In the original song I believe this refers to the song "Oh Shenedoah," which mentions the "Wide Missouri", but I'm not sure. In this version, it refers to the Isen River, which the Nazgûl had to cross to reach the Shire.**


	12. Grishnakh's Lamentation

**Thanks to LadyOfAnfalas for reviewing!**

 **Grishnakh's Lamentation (Paddie's Lamentation, Union Irish)**

 **This is a little closer to the original than I'd like. Also, I've been trying to do more Union songs but find the Confederate songs much less repetitive and more creative, making them easier to parody. This is the last update you will get until I come back on Sunday. Check back then for another update.**

 **.**

By the hush and by the by,  
And that's to hold your noise  
And listen to poor Grishnakh's lamentation  
I was by hunger pressed  
And by poverty distressed  
So I took an oath to leave that Wizard's Nation.

So I sold me sword and shield,  
Sold me helmet and my spear,  
Me little Uruk pit and me departed.  
And me captain, Uglûck the brave,  
I'm afeared I'll never see  
For I left him on that mornin' very angry.

Here's you me orcs, do take my advice  
To the Mordor Land I'll have you not be coming  
For there's nothin' here but war  
Where the murderous cave-trolls roar  
And I wish I was back home  
In dear old Orthanc

So meself and a hundred more  
To a Mor-e-dor sailed o'er  
Our fortunes to be makin' we were thinkin'  
But when we got to Sauron Land  
They stuck a scimitar in me hands  
Sayin' "Grishnakh, you must go and fight for Sauron."

General Witch-king to us said  
"If you get shot, or you lose your head  
Every orc and son of you will get a pension"  
But in the war I lost my leg  
And all I got was a wooden peg  
Oh Me Boys, it is the truth to you I'm tellin'

Here's you me orcs, do take my advice  
To the Mordor Land I'll have you not be coming  
For there's nothin' here but war  
Where the murderous cave-trolls roar  
And I wish I was back home  
In dear old Orthanc

.  
Now, I'd have thought meself in luck  
To be fed on maggoty bread  
And in Isengard the land that I delight in  
But by Morgoth I do say  
Curse Mor-e-dor today  
For I'm sure I've had enough of your hard fightin'

.

 **Please review and feel free to suggest!**

 **About Grishnakh: I think his name is pronounced with two syllables, like Grish-Nak.**


	13. When Faramir Marchs Home Again

**Thanks to Kyouki no kitsune and LadyOfAnflas for reviewing!**

 **This was suggested by Kyouki no kitsun**

 **It is a little more similar to the original than I'd like, but a lot of the original lyrics seem to suit the modified song.**

 **When Faramir Marches Home Again (When Johnny Comes Marching Home Again, Union)**

When Faramir Marches home again,  
Hurrah! Hurrah!  
We'll give him a hearty welcome then  
Hurrah! Hurrah!  
The men will cheer and the boys will shout  
The ladies they will all turn out  
And we'll all feel gay when Faramir marches home.

.

The orcs will all flee in terror,  
Hurrah! Hurrah!  
For Faramir can make no error,  
Hurrah! Hurrah!  
The village lads and lassies say  
With flowers they once strew the way,  
And we'll all feel gay when Faramir marches home.

.

Get ready for the Jubilee,  
Hurrah! Hurrah!  
We'll give the hero three times three,  
Hurrah! Hurrah!  
Osgiliath in safety now,

Its conquering we shan't allow,

And we'll all feel gay when Faramir marches home.

.

Let love and friendship on that day,  
Hurrah, hurrah!  
Their choicest pleasures then display,  
Hurrah, hurrah!  
Though Denethor lies wracked with want  
For the life of his eldest son(1),

We will all feel gay when Faramir marches home.

 **Please review and feel free to suggest!**

 **(1): "for the" should be pronounced normally, but "life of his" should be rushed, as though it is one word. "eldest son" is sung normally.**


	14. Just Before The Battle, Sauron

**Thanks to Kyouki no kitsune and LadyOfAnfalas for reviewing!**

 **Just Before the Battle Sauron (Just Before the Battle Mother, Union)**

 **This was also suggested by Kyouki no kitsune**

 **This is about an orc soldier dreaming of an unnamed imminent battle. I encourage you to look up the original song and listen to it if you don't know it, because there are several pauses in different lines.**

Just before the battle, Sauron, I am thinking most of you.  
While upon the field we're watching, with the enemy in view.  
Comrades brave are 'round me lying, dead upon the cold hard ground.  
For well they know that on the morrow, burning mounds consume them whole.

Farewell, Sauron, you may never force me to fight for you again,  
But, oh, you'll not forget me, Sauron, if I'm numbered with the slain.

Oh, I long to see you, Sauron, and the Nazgûl all at home,  
But I'll never leave our banner till in honor I can come.  
Tell the traitors all around you that their cruel words we know,  
In every battle kill our soldiers by the help they give the foe.

Farewell, Sauron, you may never force me to fight for you again,  
But, oh, you'll not forget me, Sauron, if I'm numbered with the slain.

Hark! I hear the war-horns sounding, 'tis the signal for the fight,  
Now, may trolls protect us, Sauron, as they drum the marching beat.  
Hear "The Warning Bells of Doomsday,(1)" how it swells upon the air,  
Oh, yes, we'll rally 'round the Nazûl, or we'll nobly perish there.

Farewell, Sauron, you may never force me to fight for you again,  
But, oh, you'll not forget me, Sauron, if I'm numbered with the slain.

 **Please review and feel free to suggest! I suggest that you all look up "So Long Mom", a Tom Lehrer song that the soldiers sang as "they marched bravely off to World War III"**

 **(1): The song (** **Chapter 5** **, second version) (Fanfiction/)s/11322957/5/Civil-War-Song-Parodies)**


	15. Battle Hymn of Mordor

**Thanks to LadyOfAnfalas for reviewing!**

 **The Battle Hymn of Mordor (The Battle Hymn of the Republic)**

 **Tune: Say, Brothers Will You Meet us (Also used for John Brown's Body)**

Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of Sauron;  
He is trampling out the West Lands where the free races are stored;  
He hath loosed the fateful lightning of his terrible swift mace;  
His ring is marching on.

.  
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah!

Glory! Glory! Hallelujah!  
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah!

His ring is marching on.

.

I have seen him in the orc-pits of the Mordor land, so strong.  
They have builded him a tower in the land of bad and wrong,

He commands the evil Nagûl as they ring the evil gong,  
His army marches on.  
.

Glory! Glory! Hallelujah!

Glory! Glory! Hallelujah!  
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah!

His army marches on.

.

He has crafted Morgul blades from his burnished rows of steel;  
"As ye dealt with my contemters, so with Baggins you shall deal";  
Let the Nazgûl, ring corrupted, crush the Shire with their heels,  
Since Sauron marches on.

.  
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah!

Glory! Glory! Hallelujah!  
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah!

Since Sauron marches on.

.

He has sounded forth the war-horn that shall never call retreat;  
He is killing off the hearts of men upon his tower seat;  
Oh, be swift, my soul, to answer him! be jubilant, my feet;  
Our master marches on.

.  
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah!

Glory! Glory! Hallelujah!  
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah!

Our master marches on.

.

In the beauty of the lilies he was born across the sea,

By Morgoth was corrupted and transfigured you and me(1)  
As he died by Gondor's ruler, let us die to make orcs free;(2)

While Sauron marches on.

.  
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah!

Glory! Glory! Hallelujah!  
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah!

While Sauron marches on.

.

He(3) is coming like the glory of the morning on the wave,  
He is wisdom to the mighty, he is honor to the slave;  
So the world shall be His footstool, and the free races his slaves  
Morgoth is marching on!

.  
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah!

Glory! Glory! Hallelujah!  
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah!

Morgoth is marching on!

.

 **Please review and feel free to suggest!**

 **(1): Referring to the transformation of certain unluckily elves into orcs.**

 **(2): The original form of this line is "As He died to make men holy, let us die to make men free", but is often modified to "let us live to make men free". However, this is just plain WRONG and shows an absolute lack of respect for not only the song, but every single person who died in the Civil War. The soldiers were singing about dying (in battle) to make men (the slaves) free. They were not going to sing about living through one of the deadliest places on Earth to make humans free, because that strongly implies desertion, which means NOT fighting to make humans free. Contrary to popular belief, the Civil War was not about slavery until after Antietam; and even then it was still primarily about the right to secede. The south did not even secede because of slavery, they seceded to protest Lincoln's election. In** _ **Gettysburg**_ **, Longstreet says, "We should have freed the slaves,** _ **then**_ **fired on Fort Sumter." (This is not nessisarly the opinion of the real Longstreet, but it does get my point across nicely).**

 **(3): All "he"s in this verse refer to Morgoth.**


	16. O Khazad-dum

**Thanks to LadyOfAnfalas for reviewing!**

 **O Khazad-dûm (O Shenendoah)**

 **This was not a song about the Civil War, but I think it was popular around the time period.**

 **This was supposed to be yesterday's update, but I might have forgotten to upload it.**

Oh, Khazad-dûm(1), I long to hear you  
Away, you clanking mineshaft.  
Oh, Khazad-dûm, I long to hear you  
Away, we're bound away, o'er to tall Orodruin

.

Oh, Khazad-dûm, I long to see you  
Away, you clanking mineshaft  
Oh, Khazad-dûm, I long to see you  
Away, we're bound away, o'er to tall Orodruin

.

'Tis many long years, since last I saw you  
Away you clanking mineshaft,  
'Tis many long years, since last I saw you  
Away, we're bound away o'er to tall Orodruin

.

Oh, Khazad-dûm, I long to see you  
And hear your clanking mineshaft  
Oh, Khazad-dûm, I long to see you  
Away, we're bound away, o'er to tall Orodruin

.

 **Please review and feel free to suggest!**

 **(1): The word here in the original song is "Shenendoah". However, the pronunciation varies between "Shen-en-do" and "Shen-en-do-a". When said outside of the song, it is always pronounced "Shen-en-do-a", which is the right pronunciation of it. I'm guessing that all the people who sing it "Shenendo" did not bother to look up the pronunciation and assumed the ah is silent, or I missed something major when looking up this song. However, I could not think of a fourth syllable for that phrase, so it only has three in this version (which sounds less rushed than the original, which may be another reason why people say "Shenendo".**


	17. Ugluk's Uruk Way

**Uglúk's Uruk** **way** **(Stonewall Jackson's Way, Confederate)**

Come, stack arms, boys! Cut down the trees,

Stir up the camp-fire bright;

No matter of the summer breeze,

We'll make a roaring night.

Here Grishnakh's army crawls along,

There Misty Mountains echoes strong,

To swell the brigade's rousing song

Of "Uglúk's Uruk way."

.

We see him now, - the old battle helm

Cocked o'er his eye askew;

The nasty snarl, the speech so vile,

So calm, so blunt, so true.

The "White Wizard" knows 'em well;

Says he, "That's him, - he'll march them well;

He's loyal to his evil core,"

That's "Uglúk's Uruk way."

.

Silence! ground arms! kneel all! Helms off!

Old Uglûk's got his prey.

Beheads the fool that dares to scoff!

Attention! it's his way.

Appealing from his native sod,

He kills all orcs who dare to stop,

Kill all those men, their horses too!

That's Uglúk's Uruk way.

.

The break is over now, Fall in!

Steady! The whole brigade!

Rohirrim might cut us off; we'll win

His way out, sword and spear!

What matter if our shoes are worn?

What matter if our feet are torn?

"Quick-step! we're there before the morn!"

That's "Uglúk's Uruk way."

.

The sun's bright lances rout the mists

Of morning, and, by George!

The hobbits struggling in the lists,

Hemmed in an ugly orc.

Sauron and his orcs, whipped before,

"Get a move on" Uglûk roars;

"March orc! Pay off Sauron's score!"

In "Uglúk's Uruk way."

.

Saruman, wait and watch and yearn

For news of Uglûk's band!

Ah! Hobbit, read, with eyes that burn,

That ring upon thy hand.

Ah! No free-race will survive the scorn;

That makes their lives forlorn;

The orc had better ne'er been born

That gets in "Uglûk's way."

.

 **Please review and feel free to suggest!**


	18. Sauron's Nazgul Brigade

**Thanks to LadyOfAnfalas for reviewing!**

 **Sauron's Nazgûl Brigade (Kelley's Irish Brigade, Confederate)**

Listen all ye that hold council,  
With the wizard Saruman so bold,  
And I will tell you of some men for the white hand,  
Who in Isengard's ranks were enrolled;  
They came to Orthanc in their glory  
And thought at their bombs we'd be dismayed;  
But they soon had a different story.  
When they met Sauron's Nazgûl Brigade.

When they met with the Nazgûl Brigade me boys  
When they met with the Nazgûl Brigade.  
Didn't those cowardly Wizardites tremble  
When they met with the Nazgûl Brigade.

.

They have called our orcs cowards and maggots,  
But themselves have thrown off that name of late.  
We were called it by the Western invaders  
At home in the eve of age three,

The name to us is not a new one though,  
Tis one that shall never degrade  
Every ring hearted man should be,  
In the ranks of Sauron's Nazgûl Brigade

.

When they met with the Nazgûl Brigade me boys  
When they met with the Nazgûl Brigade.  
Didn't those cowardly Wizardites tremble  
When they met with the Nazgûl Brigade.

.

Well they dare not call us invaders,  
'Tis but hobbits and One Rings we ask,  
And Mordor, we will ever defend her,  
No matter how hard may be the task.  
Then let true ringwraiths assemble,  
Let the voice of Sauron be obeyed;  
And the Uruk fanatics will tremble.  
When again they meet Sauron's Nazgûl Brigade.

.

When they met with the Nazgûl Brigade me boys  
When they met with the Nazgûl Brigade.  
Didn't those cowardly Wizardites tremble  
When they met with the Nazgûl Brigade.

.

 **Please review and feel free to suggest!**


	19. Old Frodo Baggins

**Thanks to LadyOfAnfalas for reviewing!**

 **Old Frodo Baggins (Old Rosin the Beau(pronounced "bow"(2))**

 **Tune: I think it has the same tune as the previous song (Kelley's Irish Brigade). Tune also used for "Lincoln and Liberty To".**

 **I'm not sure if this song is actually from the Civil War or not, but I have found several recordings that imply it is.**

 **This is told from Sam's point of view as he prepares to leave Middle Earth.**

I've traveled this world all over,

And now to another I go

And I know that good quarters are waiting

To welcome old Frodo Baggins(1)

.

To welcome old Frodo Baggins, me boys!

For to welcome old Frodo Baggins

And I know that good quarters are waiting

To welcome old Frodo Baggins.

.

When the ship has gone past the horizon,

A voice you will hear from below

Saying "Send down a barrel of ale,

To drink with old Frodo Baggins"

.

To drink with old Frodo Baggins", me boys!

To drink with old Frodo Baggins"

Saying "Send down a hogshead of whiskey

To drink with old Frodo Baggins".

.

Then get a half dozen stout hobbits,

And line them all up in a row

Let them drink out of pint mugs and glasses,

To the memory of Frodo Baggins

.

To the memory of Frodo Baggins, me boys!

To the memory of Frodo Baggins

Let them drink out of pint mugs and glasses,

To the memory of Frodo Baggins.

.

Then get this half dozen stout hobbits,

And let them all stagger and go

And find an old empty Bag End,

And auction it off to the crows,

.

And auction it off to the crows, me boys!

And auction it off to the crows,

And find an old empty Bag End,

And auction it off to the crows.

.

Then get ye a couple of bottles

Put one at me head and me toe

With a diamond ring scratch upon them

The name of old Frodo Baggins

.

The name of old Frodo Baggins, Me Boys!

The name of old Frodo Baggins

With a diamond ring scratch upon them

The name of old Frodo Baggins.

.

I've only this one consolation

As out of this world I go

I know that the next generation

Will disown old Frodo Baggins

.

Will disown old Frodo Baggins, me boys!

Will disown old Frodo Baggins

I know that the next generation

Will disown old Frodo Baggins.

.

I fear that old tyrant is vanquished,

That cruel remorseless old foe

And I lift up me glass in his honor

Take a drink with old Frodo Baggins

.

Take a drink with old Frodo Baggins, me boys!

Take a drink with old Frodo Baggins

And I lift up me glass in his honor

Take a drink with old Frodo Baggins.

.

 **Please review and feel free to suggest! Next will be Marching Through Georgia, suggested by LadyOfAnfalas, then a version of Jackson in the Valley. Also, I might be suddenly unable to update, because it is getting harder and harder to submit documents.  
**

 **(1): Several alternate versions could be sung, for example: Gandalf the White(or Grey), Bilbo Baggins, Samwise Gamgree, or anyone else that went to Valinor (Legolos and Gimli are implied to have gone). Some other lyrics might have to be changed as well.**

 **(2): I think this song started out as "Rosin the Bow," referring to the action of applying rosin to the bow of a string instrument in preparation for playing.**


	20. Marching Through Rohan

**Thanks to LadyOfAnfalas for reviewing!**

 **Marching through Rohan (Marching Through Georgia, Union)**

 **This was suggested by LadyOfAnfalas**

Bring the good Uruks, boys, we'll sing another song;  
Sing it with a spirit that will start evil along,  
Sing it as we used to sing it, fifty thousand strong,  
While we were marching through Rohan!

.

"Hurrah! Hurrah! We make Uruks free!  
"Hurrah! Hurrah! The Flag of Wizards' glee,!"  
So we sang the chorus from Isengard to the deep(1)!  
While we were marching through Rohan.

.

How the horsies shouted when they heard the deadly sound!  
How the humans fled when their villages we found!  
How the Rohirrim were driven right out of the town!

While we were marching through Rohan

.

"Hurrah! Hurrah! We make Uruks free!  
"Hurrah! Hurrah! The Flag of Wizards' glee,!"  
So we sang the chorus from Isengard to the deep(1)!  
While we were marching through Rohan.

.

Yes, and there were Uruk-Hai who wept with joyful tears,  
When they saw the honored Flag they had not seen for years;  
Hardly could they be restrained from breaking forth in cheers,  
While we were marching though Rohan.

.

"Hurrah! Hurrah! We make Uruks free!  
"Hurrah! Hurrah! The Flag of Wizards' glee,!"  
So we sang the chorus from Isengard to the deep(1)!  
While we were marching through Rohan.

.

"Sarumans dashing Uruk boys will never reach the coast!"  
So the saucy Rohan said, and 'twas a handsome boast;  
Had they not forgot, alas! to reckon with their host!(2)  
While we were marching through Rohan

.

"Hurrah! Hurrah! We make Uruks free!  
"Hurrah! Hurrah! The Flag of Wizards' glee,!"  
So we sang the chorus from Isengard to the deep(1)!  
While we were marching through Rohan.

.

So we made a thoroughfare for Evil and her train,  
Sixty miles in the south, three hundred to the main;  
Goodness fled before us, for resistance was in vain,  
While we were marching through Rohan.

"Hurrah! Hurrah! We make Uruks free!  
"Hurrah! Hurrah! The Flag of Wizards' glee,!"  
So we sang the chorus from Isengard to the deep(1)!  
While we were marching through Rohan.

.

 **Please review and feel free to suggest!**

 **(1): Referring to Helm's Deep**

 **(2): Wormtongue**


	21. Marching Through Isengard

**Thanks to LadyOfAnfalas for reviewing!**

 **Marching Through Isengard (Marching Through Georgia, Union)**

 **Because this is simply a re-make of the previous chapter, I'll update again in a few hours.**

Come to good old Entmoot, boys, we'll sing another song;  
Sing it with a spirit that will start the world along,  
Sing it as we used to sing it, fifty thousand strong,  
While we were marching through Isengard.

"Hurrah! Hurrah! We make the forest free!  
"Hurrah! Hurrah! We'll drown the place with glee!  
So we sang the chorus from Fangorn to the Iseny  
While we were marching through Isengard

How the Uruks shouted when they heard the deadly sound!  
How the Wizard scrambled which our commissary found!  
How the orc-pits issued steam up from the ground,  
While we were marching through Isengard

"Hurrah! Hurrah! We make the forest free!  
"Hurrah! Hurrah! We'll drown the place with glee!  
So we sang the chorus from Fangorn to the Iseny  
While we were marching through Isengard

Yes, and there were Huorns there who wept with joyful tears,  
When they saw the axes there destroyed with Entish might;  
Hardly could they be restrained from breaking forth in cheers,  
While we were marching though Isengard

"Hurrah! Hurrah! We make the forest free!  
"Hurrah! Hurrah! We'll drown the place with glee!  
So we sang the chorus from Fangorn to the Iseny  
While we were marching through Isengard

"Treebead's mighty Entish hoards will never kill our host!"  
So the saucy Uruks said, and 'twas a handsome boast;  
Had they not forgot, alas! To make us into toast,  
While we were marching through Isengard.

"Hurrah! Hurrah! We make the forest free!  
"Hurrah! Hurrah! We'll drown the place with glee!  
So we sang the chorus from Fangorn to the Iseny  
While we were marching through Isengard

So we made a thoroughfare for Fangorn and her train,  
Sixty miles in latitude, three hundred to the main;  
Uruks fled before us, for resistance was in vain,  
While we were marching through Isengard

"Hurrah! Hurrah! We make the forest free!  
"Hurrah! Hurrah! We'll drown the place with glee!  
So we sang the chorus from Fangorn to the Iseny  
While we were marching through Isengard

 **Please review and feel free to suggest!**


	22. Sauron's on the Mountain

**Thanks to LadyOfAnfalas for reviewing!**

 **Sauron's on the Mountain (Jackson's in the Valley, Confederate)**

 **Tune: Cripple Creek**

'Twas back in the summer of '34,

Sauron Dark Lord's fame was won

The Nazgûl marched to Dagorlad,

And went running to Orodruin

.

Come the spring of '41(1)

Down the Mountain old Sauron flew

A curse down there he picked a fight

And gave Elrond a fearsome fright

.

Orcs are on the mountain leaking cries alarm

Sauron's on the mountain all fear do us harm

Sauron's on the Mountain; the Nazgûl on the loose

Sauron's on the Mountain; all hell's a breaking loose

.

Down the valley and back again

Sauron's boys did fight and win

But the Elves, the Dwarves, and Men,

Beat us up again and again.

.

Now we'll raise a Nazgûl yell

And we'll send them Elf-hoards straight to hell

We'll give them Morgul Blades and all

And we'll march and we'll fight for old Sauron.

.

We'll march even though our feet are torn

And it's true our clothes are worn

Still we'll keep our weapons bright

For Sauron's army is full of fight

.

Elves and Dwarves and free Men too

From our mountain they all withdrew

Sauron swept the Mountan clear

But now he is dead and gone.

.

Sauron's on the Mountain; the Nazgûl on the loose

Sauron's on the Mountain; all hell's a breaking loose

Sauron's on the Mountain; the Nazgûl on the loose

Sauron's on the Mountain; all hell's a breaking loose

.

 **I could not find these lyrics anywhere (so I copied them down from a recording), so I put the original lyrics as performed by the Second South Carolina String Band below. Words in italics are uncertain.**

'Twas back in the summer of '61,

Stonewall Jackson's fame was won

McDowelll marched across Bull Run

And went running to Washington

.

Come the spring of '62

Down the valley old Blue Light flew

A curse down there he picked a fight

And gave Old Abe a fearsome fright

.

Rebels in the valley leaking cries alarm

Jackson's in the valley all fear do us harm

Jackson's in the valley; Stonewall is on the loose

Jackson's in the valley all hell's a breaking loose

.

Down the valley and back again

Stonewall's boys did fight and win

For two long months and maybe more

We marched and we fought then we marched some more

.

Now we'll raise a rebel yell

And we'll send them Yankees straight to hell

We'll give them _grapeshot_ , bucketball

And we'll march and we'll fight for old Stonewall

.

We'll march even though our feet are torn

And it's true our clothes are worn

Still we'll keep our muskets bright

For Stonewall's army is full of fight

.

Banks and shoes and _Freemon_ too

From our valley they all withdrew

Jackson swept the valley clear

And now we marches on McClellen's rear

.

Jackson's in the valley; Stonewall is on the loose

Jackson's in the valley all hell's a breaking loose

Jackson's in the valley Stonewall is on the loose

Jackson's in the valley all hell's a breaking loose.

 **.**

 **Please review and feel free to suggest!**

 **(1): According to the Lord of the Rings Wiki, the battle on Mount Doom was in the year 3441**


	23. Dragons Come Again No More

**Thanks to LadyOfAnfalas for reviewing!**

 **Dragons Come Again no More (Hard Times Come Again no More,)**

 **I will be leaving on a vacation where I will not have access to my computer or the internet, so I will be unable to update for about a week. I will resume updating when I get back.**

Let us pause in life's pleasures and count its many tears(1)  
While we all sup sorrow with the dwarves.  
There's a song that will linger forever in our ears  
Oh, dragons come again no more

It's a song, a sigh of the weary  
Dragons, Dragons come again no more  
Many days you have lingered around old Erebor  
Oh Dragons come again no more

Though we seek mirth and beauty and music bright and gay  
They are frail forms burning by our door  
Though their voices are screaming, their pleading looks still say  
Oh, Dragons come again no more

It's a song, a sigh of the weary  
Dragons, Dragons come again no more  
Many days you have lingered around old Erebor  
Oh Dragons come again no more

There's a jewel maddened dwarf king who toils his life away  
With a worn heart, whose better days are o'er  
Though his voice it should be merry, 'tis sighing all the day  
Oh, dragons, come again no more.

It's a song, a sigh of the weary  
Dragons, Dragons come again no more  
Many days you have lingered around old Erebor  
Oh Dragons come again no more

It's some smoke that is wafted across the lowly plains  
It's a fire that is seen upon the shore  
It's a song that is murmured around the hobbit hole,

Oh dragons times come again no more

 **Please review and feel free to suggest!**

 **(1): Never do that.**


	24. The Dwarf-Folk and the Elves

**Thanks to LadyOfAnflas for reviewing!**

 **The Dwarf-Folk and the Elves (The Orange and the Green)**

 **Tune: The Wearing of the Green/Grey**

 **This song has absolutely nothing to do with the Civil War, but I happened upon it when looking for more music and thought it could fit.**

Oh my father was an Dwarvish man, proud gem-miner was he  
Me mother was a Elvish girl, from Rivendell was she  
They were married in two races, lived happily enough  
Until the day that I was born and things got rather tough

Oh it is the biggest mix-up that you have ever seen  
My father he was Dwarvish and me mother was an Elf

Baptized by Elf-lord Elrond, I was rushed away by horse  
To be made a little Dwarvishman, my father's shining star  
I was christened David Anthony, but still in spite of that  
To my father I was William while me mother called me Pat

Oh it is the biggest mix-up that you have ever seen  
My father he was Dwarvish and me mother was an Elf

With mother every odd year, with Elves I'd proudly stroll  
Then after that the Dwarven mine would try to save my soul  
For both sides tried to claim me, but I was smart because  
I played the flute or played the harp(1), depending where I was

Oh it is the biggest mix-up that you have ever seen  
My father he was Dwarvish and me mother was an Elf

Now when I'd sing those Elvish songs, much to me mother's joy,  
My father he would leap and shout "Look here William me boy.  
That's quite enough of that lot", he'd then toss me a coin.  
And he'd have me sing the tall tales of the Misty Mountains Old.

Oh it is the biggest mix-up that you have ever seen  
My father he was Dwarvish and me mother was an Elf

One day me ma's relations came round to visit me  
Just as my father's kinfolk were all sittin' down to drink  
We tried to smooth things over, but they all began to fight  
And me being strictly neutral, I bashed everyone in sight

Oh it is the biggest mix-up that you have ever seen  
My father he was Dwarvish and me mother was an Elf

Now my parents never could agree about my type of school  
My learning was all done at home, that's why I'm such a fool  
They've both left Middle Earth now, but left me caught between  
That awful ethnic problem of the Dwarf-folk and the Elves.

Oh it is the biggest mix-up that you have ever seen  
My father he was Dwarvish and me mother was an Elf

 **Please review and feel free to suggest!**

 **(1): I'm not sure what instruments Elves and Dwarves favor, but the Hobbit mentions Thorin having a harp.**


	25. Mordor

**Thanks to LadyOfAnfalas for reviewing!**

 **Mordor (Dixie, Union parody)**

Away back East in the land of traitors,

Cave trolls and fell-beast riders,

Right away, come away, right away, come away.

Where Sauron's king and orcs fight battles,

Gondor's boys will win the battles,

Right away, come away, right away, come away.

.

Then we'll all go East to Mordor

Away, away,

Each Mordor orc must understand

That he must mind his crazy Steward,

Away, away,

And we'll all go East to Mordor.

Away, away,

And we'll all go East to Mordor.

.

I wish I was in Isengard,

I'd make that wizard traitor roar,

Right away, come away, right away, come away.

We'll put the Uruks all to rout.

And all the Ents will whip them out,

Right away, come away, right away, come away.

.

Then they'll wish they were in Mordor,

Away, away,

Each Mordor orc must understand

That he must mind his crazy Steward,

Away, away,

And we'll all go East to Mordor

Away, away,

And we'll all go East to Mordor

.

Oh, may our Gondor flag still wave

Forever o'er the free and brave,

Right away, come away, right away, come away.

And let our motto ever be -

"For Gondor! (and for Rohan too)!"

Right away, come away, right away, come away.

.

Then they'll wish they were in Mordor,

Away, away,

Each Mordor orc must understand

That he must mind his crazy Steward,

Away, away,

And we'll all go East to Mordor

Away, away,

And we'll all go East to Mordor

 **Please review and feel free to suggest!**


	26. Hobbiton (Gary Owen)

**Thanks to LadyOfAnfalas for reviewing!**

 **Hobbiton (Gary Owen, Union)**

 **This is mostly about the adventures of Merry and Pippin, both before the War of the Ring, and the Scouring in the Shire.**

Let Bagginses' sons be not dismayed  
But join with me every re-jovial blade  
Come booze and sing and lend your aid  
To help me with the chorus

Instead of wine we'll drink brown ale  
And pay the reckoning on the nail  
No one for that shall go to jail  
From Hobbiton to the Westmarch

We are hobbits who take delight in  
Raiding the farms by day and night and  
Through the street like wargs a-running  
As the dogs chase us. (1)  
.

Instead of wine we'll drink brown ale  
And pay the reckoning on the nail  
No one for that shall go to jail  
From Hobbiton to the Westmarch

.  
We'll break the windows, we'll break the doors  
The orcs knock down by threes and fours  
Then shoot the ruffians who started wars  
And tinker with our weapons  
.

Instead of wine we'll drink brown ale  
And pay the reckoning on the nail  
No one for that shall go to jail  
From Hobbiton to the Westmarch

.  
We'll beat the bailiffs out of fun  
We'll make old Sharkey and sheriffs run  
We are the boys no man dares dun  
If his own skin he values  
.

Instead of wine we'll drink brown ale  
And pay the reckoning on the nail  
No one for that shall go to jail  
From Hobbiton to the Westmarch

.  
Our hearts so stout have got us fame  
For soon 'tis known from whence we came  
Where'er we go they welcome the name  
Of Merry and Pippin in glory

.

Instead of wine we'll drink brown ale  
And pay the reckoning on the nail  
No one for that shall go to jail  
From Hobbiton to the Westmarch

The Ruffians are tall and straight  
And kill any who contemplate  
They'll shoot a bow of any weight  
From Hobbiton to the Westmarch.

.

Instead of wine we'll drink brown ale  
And pay the reckoning on the nail  
No one for that shall go to jail  
From Hobbiton to the Westmarch

The Shire has been wracked and torn  
Since Sarumon revenge had sworn  
Though he lays still upon the corn  
In spite of Frodo and Samwise.

 **Please review and feel free to suggest!**

 **(1): There is something in the Fellowship of the Ring about farmer Maggot having dogs that he set on raiders.**


	27. Mount Doom's Crack

**Thanks to LadyOfAnfalas for reviewing!**

 **I regret to inform you all that once again I will be leaving for a week, this time to a remote place in the middle of nowhere (that means no internet access). I may or may not be able to update tomorrow. This is the last time I will be leaving for a while.**

 **Mount Doom's Crack (Cumberland Gap, Confederate)**

Lay down Sam take a little nap

Lay down Sam gonna take a little nap

Lay down Sam gonna take a little nap

Fourteen miles to Mount Doom's Crack

.

Mount Doom's crack is a place of rocks

Home of the Gollum and the Troll and the Orc.

First hobbit in the Cumberland gap

Was Frodo Baggins an English(1) chap

.

Lay down Sam gonna take a little nap

Lay down Sam gonna take a little nap

Lay down Sam gonna take a little nap

Gonna throw that ring in Mount Doom's Crack

.

Gollum Smeagol with a rock

Killed himself with a joyful dance(2).

Mount Doom's Crack is a fearsome place

Volcanoes go off right in your face

.

Lay down Sam gonna take a little nap

Lay down Sam gonna take a little nap

Lay down Sam gonna take a little nap

Gonna throw that ring in Mount Doom's Crack

.

In Second Age of Men

Sauron's forces all withdrew

Isildur and his Godor band

They run The Nazgûl back to Mirkwood land

.

Lay down Sam gonna take a little nap

Lay down Sam gonna take a little nap

Lay down Sam gonna take a little nap

Gonna throw that ring in Mount Doom's Crack

.

They take their ring and let it drop

Over the cliffs at the mountain top

The cooked the rabbits and the fish in a stew,

And left poor Smeagol with nothing to eat

.

Lay down Sam gonna take a little nap

Lay down Sam gonna take a little nap

Lay down Sam gonna take a little nap

Gonna throw that ring in Mount Doom's Crack

.

So come on no time to nap

Come on Mr. Frodo I'll carry you

Come on now give a fearsome yell

Send that ring right back to hell

.

So come on no time to nap

So come on no time to nap

So come on no time to nap

Gonna throw that ring in Mount Doom's Crack

.

 **(1): I think the Shire was based off of England's country areas, and I could not find a replacement for "English"**

 **I could not find the lyrics to the war version of this song anywhere (The regular version is everywhere, but is missing verses), so here they are as played by the Second South Carolina String Band:**

Lay down boys take a little nap

Lay down boys gonna take a little nap

Lay down boys gonna take a little nap

Fourteen miles to Cumberland Gap

.

Cumberland gap is a place of rocks

Home of the _panther(1)_ and the deer and the fox

First white man in the Cumberland gap

Was Dr. Walker an English chap

.

Lay down boys gonna take a little nap

Lay down boys gonna take a little nap

Lay down boys gonna take a little nap

Gonna raise hell up the Cumberland Gap

.

Daniel Boone at the _pinnacle_ rock

Killed a bear with an old flintlock

Cumberland Gap is a fearsome place

The shells go off right in your face

.

Lay down boys gonna take a little nap

Lay down boys gonna take a little nap

Lay down boys gonna take a little nap

Gonna raise hell up the Cumberland Gap

.

In September of '62

Morgan's Yankees all withdrew

Kirby Smith and his rebel band

They run George Walker back to Yankee land

.

Lay down boys gonna take a little nap

Lay down boys gonna take a little nap

Lay down boys gonna take a little nap

Gonna raise hell up the Cumberland Gap

.

They spike their guns and let them drop

Over the cliffs at the mountain top

The burned the hay and the _beer_ and the meat

And left us rebels with nothing to eat

.

Lay down boys gonna take a little nap

Lay down boys gonna take a little nap

Lay down boys gonna take a little nap

Gonna raise hell up the Cumberland Gap

.

So come on boys no time to nap

Come on boys now lift your cap

Come on boys give a rebel yell

Send them Yankees straight to hell

.

Come on boys no time to nap

Come on boys no time to nap

Come on boys no time to nap

Gonna raise hell up the Cumberland Gap

.

(1): Might also be "feather"

 **Please review and feel free to suggest!**

 **On the subject of the Confederate flag (this is a Civil War series, it fits):**

 **WARNING: This is my relatively unfiltered opinion. If you are easily offended over silly things , don't read this. If you wish to comment on this opinion, yell at me, argue with me, etc. please send me a Private Message, do not make a Review (this is not a part of the song series; it is an author's note)**

 **End Warning**

The Confederate flag is not a symbol of racism or slavery. It is a symbol of states' rights, primarily the right to secede. Anyone who makes it a symbol of racism (be they for or against it) is a moron with absolutely no respect for history.

The Confederate flag is not a symbol of racism or slavery. It is a symbol of states' rights, primarily the right to secede. Anyone who makes it a symbol of racism (be they for or against it) is a moron with absolutely no respect for history.


	28. Coming To Us Dead

**Coming to us dead (Coming to us dead, Union?)**

 **Please see the note on the previous page if you have not already.**

One morning when the graveyard had opened  
a Maier quite old in years  
Entered the graveyard office  
showing signs of joyful tears  
When the clerk approached him  
his trembling voice did say  
I'm waiting for my army sir;  
they're coming home today

You have made a small mistake  
and you must surely know  
This is the graveyard office, sir  
and not a town depot  
If your army is coming home

The clerk did smile and say  
You'll find them with the passengers  
at the station just over the way

You do not understand me, sir  
the Maier shook his head  
They're not a-coming as passengers  
but by fell beast instead  
They're coming home to Sauron  
the old man gently said  
They're coming home from a casket, sir  
They're coming to us dead

Just then a loud shriek pierced the ears  
"Nazgûl " someone cried  
The old man rose in a breathless haste  
and quickly rushed outside  
Then nine fell beast landed;  
put their riders on the ground  
The scene was filled with the death and fear  
of those who gathered around

Don't handle them too gently boys  
they'll kill you if you do.  
They took his rings and paid the price

They're called Nazgûl to you.  
he broke their weak corrupted heats  
The legends are all true  
This is the way you will come back  
If you join the Nazgûl true.

Note: The person who is picking up the Nazgûl is Saruman (He looks like an old man).

 **Please review and feel free to suggest!**


	29. The Ents Are Coming

**Thanks to LadyOfAnfalas and Sherman1865 for reviewing!**

 **The Ents are Coming (Kingdom Coming, Union)**

Say, Hobbits, have you seen this fella with a white beard on his face,

Went on the road some time this morning, like he's going to burn this place.

He made a smoke way up the river where the Ents went storming 'round;

He took his hat, and left' verry sudden, and I spec' he's run away!

.

The Wizard run, ha, ha! The forest safe, ho, ho!

It must be now the Ents are coming and the Isen flows today!

.

He six foot one way, and a foot, and his Uruks are the same,

His army large and fierce and deadly and they burn villages down..

He kills so much for Sauron's glory but that can't save him now.

I think he'll go and burn the Shire for the Hobbits killed his land.

.

The Wizard run, ha, ha! The forest safe, ho, ho!

It must be now the Ents are coming and the Isen flows today!

.

The Hobbits feel so hungry living with the Ents out on the lawn.

They move into the wizard's tower and eat until it's gone.

There's wine an' cider in the kitchen, but Merry wants his ale.

Treebeard's baffled at all the smoking of the dead plant and all.

.

The Wizard run, ha, ha! The forest safe, ho, ho!

It must be now the Ents are coming and the Isen flows today!

.

Gandalf will come and make us trouble if Sarumon survives

We locked him in the explosives storage room, he'll have his fun in there.

The bombs go off in great big bangs and the tower topples down.

Old Gandalf comes out with soot on his face and a short and blackened beard

.

The Wizard run, ha, ha! The forest safe, ho, ho!

It must be now the Ents are coming and the Isen flows today!

 **Please review and feel free to suggest!**


	30. Join the Rohirrim

**Thanks to LadyOfAnfalas for reviewing!**

 **Join the Rohirrim (Jine the Cavalry, Confederate)**

If you want to have a good time, join the Rohirrim

Join the Rohirrim! Join the Rohirrim!

If you want to kill the Uruks, if you want to have fun,

If you want to smell Hell, join the Rohirrim!

.

We're the boys who killed a lot of Uruk-Hai,

Killed a lot of Uruk-Hai, killed a lot of Uruk-Hai!

We're the boys who killed a lot of Uruk-Hai,

Bully boys, hey! Bully boys, ho!

.

If you want to have a good time, join the Rohirrim

Join the Rohirrim! Join the Rohirrim!

If you want to kill the Uruks, if you want to have fun,

If you want to smell Hell, join the Rohirrim!

.

We're the boys who rode around Helm's Deep again,

Rode around Helm's Deep again, Rode around Helm's Deep again!

We're the boys who rode around Helm's Deep again,

Bully boys, hey! Bully boys, ho!

.

If you want to have a good time, join the Rohirrim

Join the Rohirrim! Join the Rohirrim!

If you want to kill the Uruks, if you want to have fun,

If you want to smell Hell, join the Rohirrim!

.

Then we went into Gondorinia

Into Gondorinia, into Gondorinia!

Then we went into Gondorinia,

Bully boys, hey! Bully boys, ho!

.

If you want to have a good time, join the Rohirrim

Join the Rohirrim! Join the Rohirrim!

If you want to kill the Uruks, if you want to have fun,

If you want to smell Hell, join the Rohirrim!

.

Then we marched on the Black Gate of Moredor,

Black Gate of Moredor, Black Gate of Moredor!

Then we marched on the Black Gate of Moredor,

Bully boys, hey! Bully boys, ho!

.

If you want to have a good time, join the Rohirrim

Join the Rohirrim! Join the Rohirrim!

If you want to kill the Uruks, if you want to have fun,

If you want to smell Hell, join the Rohirrim!

.

Ol' Tom Bombadil, come out of The Wilderness.

Come out of The Wilderness, come out of The Wilderness.

Ol' Tom Bombadil, come out of The Wilderness.

Bully boys, hey! Bully boys, ho!

.

If you want to have a good time, join the Rohirrim

Join the Rohirrim! Join the Rohirrim!

If you want to kill the Uruks, if you want to have fun,

If you want to smell Hell, join the Rohirrim!

 **Please review and feel free to suggest!**


	31. The Uruk-Hai's Glee

**Thanks to LadyOfAnfalas for reviewing!**

 **The Uruk-Hai's Glee (Cavalier's Glee, Confederate)**

Run on! Run on! We love the pounding  
Of boots that bear us to the fray.  
The run our Uruks now are shouting  
And our bold Ugluck leads the way!

The path of bloodshed lies before us.  
The hated Rohan gathers fast.  
At home, orc-forges sparkle for us  
And we'll defend them to the last!

Run on! Run on! We love the rushing  
Of orcs that kill the turf they tread.  
We'll through the Rohan ranks go crushing  
With the White Hand on our heads.

.  
The path of bloodshed lies before us.  
The hated Rohan gathers fast.  
At home, orc-forges sparkle for us  
And we'll defend them to the last!

.  
Run on! Run on! We love the flashing  
Of blades that battle to be free.  
'Tis for our Isengard they are clashing,  
For Uruks, Rings, and casualties!  
.

The path of bloodshed lies before us.  
The hated Rohan gathers fast.  
At home, orc-forges sparkle for us  
And we'll defend them to the last!

.  
Run on! Run on! We love the pounding  
Of boots that bear us to the fray.  
The run our Uruks now are shouting  
And our bold Ugluck leads the way!

 **Please review and feel free to suggest!**


	32. We'll Fight for Saruman

**Thanks to LadyOfAnfalas for reviewing!**

 **We'll Fight for Saruman (We'll Fight for Uncle Sam, Union)**

I am an Dunlending: a wild man from Dunland;  
Not long ago, we all lived in the fields of Rohan's valley  
I used to run the village, because that was my trade, sir,  
Till I 'listed for a soldier boy in Uruk-Hai brigades, sir.

For to fight for Saruman;  
He'll lead us on to glory, O!  
He'll lead us on to glory, O!  
To burn all Rohan down..

Ora, once in regimentals, my mind was taken from me  
We made off in a burning haste for Rohan, not to linger  
Whoo! says I, the Dunlendings are strong and fierce in battle.  
Because we've got the Wizard who has many, many, colors.

For to fight for Saruman;  
He'll lead us on to glory, O!  
He'll lead us on to glory, O!  
To burn all Rohan down..

We soon got into battle, but no soldiers stood intruding  
The Rohan villagers gave way: they fell as thick as peanuts.  
Och hone! The slaughter that we made, behold, it was delighting!  
For, the Dunland lads in action are the wizard's boys for fighting.

They'll fight for Saruman;  
He'll lead us on to glory, O!  
He'll lead us on to glory, O!  
To burn all Rohan down..

Och, sure, we never will give in, in any sort of manner,  
Until Evil comes back agin, beneath the White-Hand-Banner;  
And if Sauron should interfere, he'd suffer for it truly;  
For, soon the Dunlendings would give him Ballyhooly.

They'll fight for Saruman;  
He'll lead us on to glory, O!  
He'll lead us on to glory, O!  
To burn all Rohan down.

And! now, before I end my song, this free advice I'll tender:  
All of Rohan will soon fall beneath their horsemen's banner  
And, once again, the Wizard's hand will to the breeze be swelling',  
If Gandalf Grey will give us back our darling boy Saruman

We'll follow Saruman  
He'll lead us on to glory, O!  
He'll lead us on to glory, O!  
To burn all Rohan down..

 **Please review and feel free to suggest!**


	33. Harad Voluenteer

**Thanks to LadyOfAnfalas for reviewing!**

 **The Harad Volunteer (The Irish Volunteer, Union)**

My name is Furad(1) and I am a native of Harad,  
I was born among the hot desert when I was but a child.  
My father fought the Gondorians for liberty so dear;  
He fell upon old South Gondor, like a Harad volunteer.  
Then raise the flag of Mordor, boys, the flag we all revere-  
We'll fight and fall beneath its folds, like Harad volunteers!  
Then raise the flag of Mordor, boys, the flag we all revere-  
We'll fight and fall beneath its folds, like Harad volunteers!

When I was driven form my home by an oppressor's hand,  
I cut my sticks and greased my brogues, and came o'er to this land.  
I found a home and many orcs, some that I love dear;  
I will fight for them with sticks like a Harad volunteer.  
Then fill your glasses up, my boys, and drink a hearty cheer,  
To the land of good old Sauron and the Harad volunteer!  
Then fill your glasses up, my boys, and drink a hearty cheer,  
To the land of good old Sauron and the Harad volunteer!

Now when the soldiers of the West commenced a warlike raid,  
I quickly then laid down my hoe, and sharpened up my spade!  
To a herd of Mumakil I went, that happened to be near,  
And joined the good old Evil Men like a Harad volunteer.  
Then fill the ranks and ride away!-no Free Race do we fear;  
We'll drive them all to blazes, says the Harad volunteer.  
Then fill the ranks and ride away!-no Free Race do we fear;  
We'll drive them all to blazes, says the Harad volunteer.

When Gondor's king came over here, and made a hullaboo,  
Oh, everybody turned out, you know, in gold and mithril too;  
But the good old Harad warriors don't like these lords or peers-  
They wouldn't give a damn for kings, the Harad volunteers!  
We love the land of Near Harad, its laws we will revere,  
"But to Utumno take nobility!" says the Harad volunteer!  
We love the land of Near Harad, its laws we will revere,  
"But to Utumno take nobility!" says the Harad volunteer!

Now if the traitors in the West should ever cross our roads,  
We'll run them down with Mumakil, and shoot them down with bows;  
We'll give them all short arrows that can barely reach the ears,  
Made strong and good of Harad trees by Harad volunteers.  
Then here's to pink-robed(2) Khamûl, whom the army now reveres-  
He'll lead us on to victory, the Harad volunteers.  
Then here's to pink-robed Khamûl, whom the army now reveres-  
He'll lead us on to victory, the Harad volunteers.

Now fill your glasses up, my boys, a toast come drink with me,  
May Harad's Snake and the Mordor Eye united ever be;  
May Hobbits quake, and Free Men shake, and tremble in their fears,  
When next they meet good old Mordor boys and Harad volunteers!  
We love the name of Lord Sauron! that name this land reveres;  
Success to Witch-King and Khamûl, and their Harad volunteers!  
We love the name of Lord Sauron! that name this land reveres;  
Success to Witch-King and Khamûl, and their Harad volunteers!

 **Please review and feel free to suggest!**

 **(1): This name is borrowed from the Lord of the Rings mod for Minecraft. If you like the Lord of the Rings, and you like Minecraft, I highly recommend that mod.**

 **(2): See "A Rogue Nazgûl," which I plan to update soon.**


	34. The Orcs I Left Behind There

**Thanks to Astaldowen, LadyOfAnfalas, and Amateur Bacon Cook for reviewing!**

 **The Orcs I left Behind There (The Girl I left Behind There)**

 **This was suggested by Astaldowen.**

I'm lonesome since I left the woods,  
And over the moorland sedgy,  
Such heavy thoughts my heart do fill,  
Since parting from Dul Guldor.  
I seek no more the Uruks fair,  
For each just does remind me  
How sweet the hours I passed away,  
With the orcs I left behind there.

.

O ne'er shall I forget that night,  
The stars were bright above me,  
And gently lent their silvery light  
When Gandalf showed his face there.  
The Council killed, the Council burned -  
And many orcs did die there,  
And I ran safely back away

From the orcs I left behind there.

.

Their bodies lie upon the ground  
Their eyes are blankly staring

Their swords that bent and shields that broke  
When the Council raided Guldor  
The wizards and great elf-lords came  
With mighty swords and staves  
And with great force threw down its walls

And the orcs I left behind there. .

 **Please review and feel free to suggest!**


	35. A Vacant Beast

**Thanks to LadyOfAnfalas and KirkCaptain for reviewing!**

 **I meant to post this yesterday, but it appears I forgot to post it after uploading it. I will post today's update in a few hours.**

 **The Empty Beast (A Vacant Chair)**

We shall meet but we shall miss him.

There will be one empty beast.

We shall linger to caress him,

While we search for Sauron's ring.

When last battle we were gathered,

Joy was in his eye socket.

But a sword stuck in his faceplate.

And our hopes in ruin lie.

.

We shall meet, but we shall miss him.

There will be one empty beast

We shall linger to caress him,

While we search for Sauron's ring.

.

At our city, sad and lonely,

Often will the bosom swell,

At remembrance of the story,

How our noble Witch-King fell.

How he strove to kill Théoden,

In the thickest of the fight,

And uphold our country's honor

In the strength of Orcish might.

.

We shall meet, but we shall miss him.

There will be one empty beast

We shall linger to caress him,

While we search for Sauron's ring.

.

True they tell us that Lord Khamûl,

Evermore will lead us well,

But this makes our terror greater,

For his competence ain't swell

Sleep today o' early fallen,

In thy black and narrow bed

Dirges from the orcs and cavetrolls

Mingle with the screech we give

.

We shall meet, but we shall miss him.

There will be one empty beast

We shall linger to caress him,

While we search for Sauron's ring.

 **Please review and feel free to suggest!**


	36. Hobbits of the Shire

**The Hobbits of the Shire (The Boys the Wore the Green, Union)**

In the Forth Age of Middle Earth, beneath a burning sun,  
Sharkey met the Hobbit troops in battle at Bywater  
Above the Hobbit vanguard, was proudly to be seen  
Beside the starry banner, old Pippin's flag of green.

Meriadoc Brandybuck led hobbits on that day  
I wish the King of Rohan were to see him in the fray.  
His charge upon the Ruffains was a most glorious scene,  
With gallant Tookish armies and the hobbits of the Shire.

In the hottest of the fire, there rode along the line  
A captain of the Took band, crying, "Now, boys, is your time."  
Ah, who is he so proudly rides with bold dauntless Hobbits?  
´Tis Peregrin Took of Tookland in the Shire.

The Hobbit band was fighting well with Ruffains today,  
But then the reinforcements came and forced them all to flee  
Then Pippin's dashing Tooks(1) who fought with bows for hunting meat  
Took them in a moment with the Hobbits of the Shire

.  
Being overpowered by numbers, their troops were forced to flee.  
The Hobbits with their hunting bows at them shot furiously,  
And in that hour of peril, the Uruks were to scream,  
And Sharkey's band of evil men were never seen again.

Oh, the Hobbits of the Shire are a gallant band,  
Bolder never drew a sword for their beloved land.  
Though they love peace in life and barley know a sword,  
They will fight any Uruk-Hai who dare come near again.

Farewell, to gallant Hobbits who fell that fatal day.  
Farewell, ye noble warriors, now mouldering in the grave.  
While blooms the leafy Mallorn, and read the old red book  
Your deeds will live bold Hobbits and the evil Saruman.

 **Please review and feel free to suggest!**

 **(1): Unfortunatly, I could not work "Dashing Cave Trolls" in here anywhere.**


	37. The Harad Boy

**Thanks to LadyOfAnfalas for reviewing!**

 **The Harad Boy (The Minstrel Boy)**

The Harad Boy to the war is gone

In the ranks of death you will find him;

His father's sword he hath girded on,

And his wild bow slung behind him;

This land of death said the warrior bard,

Will soon have conquered all Middle Earth,

One sword, one spear and one bow you'll guard,

For one good shot we shall praise thee!"

.  
The poor boy fell! But old Gondor's chain

Could not bring that proud soul under;

The bow he loved never shot again,

For we tore its strings all asunder;

And said "No dwarves or elves shall sully thee,

Thou soul of love and bravery!

Thy bow was meant for the Evil Cause

And shall only sound in slavery!"

.

The Harad Boys will return we pray

When we hear the news we all will cheer it,

The Harad boys will return one day,

Torn perhaps in body, not in spirit.

Then may they shoot their bows in peace,

In a world such as Sauron intended,

For all the bitterness of man must cease,

And every free race must be ended.

.

 **Please review and feel free to suggest!**


	38. The Thorin Dwarf

**Thanks to LadyOfAnfalas for reviewing!**

 **The Thorin Dwarf (The Minstrel Boy)**

 **I thought of this right after posting the previous version. I am starting to run out of ideas, so if you have anything you want done for the first time or repeated, please leave a suggestion in a review.**

The Thorin Dwarf to the war is gone

In the ranks of death you will find him;

An Elven sword he hath girded on,

And his gold harp slung behind him;"

Land of gold!" said the Dwarven band,

"Tho' all the world covets thee,

10 swords, at least, thy rights shall guard,

One faithful harp shall praise thee!"

.  
Old Thorin fell! But the foeman's chain

Could not bring that proud soul under;

The harp he lov'd ne'er spoke again,

For he left in a Wood-Elf Cavern.(1)

And said "No chains shall sully thee,

Thou soul of gold and jewelry

Thy gems were made for the pure and free,

They shall not be found in slavery!"

.

The King under the Mountain is back again

We have heard the news and will cheer it,

The Dragon may will return one day,

And Bard is out of black arrows!

But may he shoot his bow in peace,

In a world such as the Elves intended,

For all the bitterness of dwarves must cease,

And ev'ry battle must be ended.

.

 **Please review and feel free to suggest!**

 **(1): I'm not sure what happened to the dwarves' instruments after they left Bag End. They are said to be playing them to Thorin during the siege, but how they got them (especially the viols) all the way through Goblin Town, the Wood Elf prison, the barrels, and into Erebor is beyond me.**


	39. The Boys that Wore the Red

**Thanks to LadyOfAnfalas for reviewing!**

 **The Boys that Wore the Red (The Boys that wore the Green**

In the Third Age of Middle Earth, beneath the Mordor Ash,  
Aragorn met the Evil troops in battle at The Gate.  
Above the Mordor vanguard, was proudly to be seen  
Beside the one-eyed banner, old Harad's flag of Red.

A Nazgûl led the Harad troops on that eventful day,  
I wish the King of Gondor(1) there to see him in the fray.  
His charge upon the free races was a most glorious scene,  
With gallant Mordor cave trolls and the boys that wear the red.

In the hottest of the fire, there rode along the line  
A captain of the cave troll band, crying, "Now, boys, is your time."  
Ah, who so boldy rides with the bold and dauntless trolls?  
´Tis Tom the Cave Troll Turned to Stone (2) of Mordor's land of Ash.

The colors of the Harad Land, I say it without shame,  
Were taken in the struggle to swell the victor´s fame;  
But Sauron's dashing cave trolls that kill like a machine,  
Retook them in a moment, for the Boys that Wore the Red.  
Being overpowered by Hobbits(3) our troops were forced to flee.  
The Eagles of the mountains on them charged furiously,  
But in that hour of peril, the flying mass to screen,  
Stood the gallant Mordor Cave Trolls with the boys that wore the red.

Oh, the boys of the Harad lands, they are a gallant band,  
Bolder never drew a sword for their adopted land.  
Amongst the fallen heroes, a braver had not been  
Than you, lamented bowman, of Harad's flag of red.

Farewell, my gallant countrymen who fell that fatal day.  
Farewell, ye noble cave trolls, now statures made of stone!.  
While blooms the leafy white-tree, while Gondor's king does live,.  
Your deeds will die bold Cave Trolls and boys that wore the red.

.

 **Please review and feel free to suggest!**

 **(1): Said king** _ **was**_ **there, just not king yet (according to the movies).**

 **(2): Concerning the stone part: I put that in there to fill the syllable count. Tom could have been named after the Tom from the Hobbit (who was turned to stone), or actually turned to stone by a freak ray of sunshine. Make up any story you want.**

 **(3): Referring to the destruction of the Ring.**


	40. All Quiet Along Mordor's Mountain Tonigh

**Thanks to LadyOfAnfalas for reviewing!**

 **All Quiet Along Mordor's Mountain Today (All Quiet Along the Potomac Tonight)**

"All quiet along Shelob's cavern tonight!"

Except here and there a stray hobbit

Is stung, as he walks on his feet, to and fro,

By a spider hid up on a cliff-wall

'Tis nothing! a goblin or two now and then

Will not count in the news of a journey;

Nothing important lost, only Frodo Baggins

Moaning out, all alone, the death rattle(1).

.

All quiet along Mount Doom's slopes to-night!

Where the Gollum lies violently killing;

And his face in the rays of the clear lava lake,

And the light of the One Ring is gleaming.

A horrible screech; the Nazgûl would be proud

O'er the mountain is quickly riding;

While the Hobbits up above, with their glittering eyes,

Are hit in the head with a big rock.

There's only the sound of the lone Gollum's tread

As he tramps from the rock to the lava,

And thinks of the two he will dump in the lake,

Far below, in the heart of the mountain.

.

His limbs then fall slack, his face, dark and grim,

Grows gentle with memories tender,

As he mutters a prayer for his Precious alone,

As he falls off platform with dancing"

The sun seems to shine forth as brightly as when-

Mordor ash never covered the landscape,

And Sauron the Dark Lord was not yet declared

Though his evil remained unbroken.

.

Then drawing his sleeve roughly over his eyes,

Sam dashes off tears that are welling;

And gathers his packed closer up to his back

As if to keep down his heart's swelling.

He passes the entrance, the Cavern of Doom

And his footstep is lagging and weary;

Yet onward he goes, to the lone boulder there,

Where the lava were never destroy him.

.

Hark! was it the night-wind that rustled the ash?

Was it the sunlight so wondrously flashing?

It looked like an Eagle: "Ha! Frodo, good-by!"

And his life-blood is ebbing and plashing.

"All quiet along the Morodr's mountain to-day!"

No sound save the rush of the lava;

While soft falls the ash on the Nazgûl of dread,

And the Wizards' off duty forever!

.

 **Please review and feel free to suggest!**

 **(1): Frodo did make a sort of deathy noise when stung.**


	41. Moredor, My Moredor

**Thanks to LadyOfAnfalas and TrollingTauriel for reviewing!**

 **Moredor, My Moredor (Maryland, My Maryland, Sort-of Confederate(1))**

 **In case you haven't noticed already, I try to update this daily. However, sometimes things get in the way and I cannot update. This might start to happen slightly more often because I'm starting school again and the teachers seem to like to dump homework on us the first week.**

" **Moredor" is pronounced Mor-E-Dor (as in other songs containing it)**

Old freedom's heel is on thy shore,  
Moredor, My Moredor!  
Her torch is at thy evil door  
Moredor, My Moredor!  
Avenge the patriotic gore(2)  
That flecked the gates of Erebor  
And be the Evil Land of lore,  
Moredor, My Moredor!

.

Ignore the long lost king's appeal,  
Moredor, My Moredor!  
My Mother State! to thee he'll kneel,  
Moredor, My Moredor!  
For life and death, for Good and Bad,  
Send for the Orcs of Gundabad  
And coat their beauteous limbs with steel,  
Moredor, My Moredor!

.

Thou wilt not cower in the dust  
Moredor, My Moredor!  
Their beaming swords must ever rust,  
Moredor, My Moredor!  
Remember Sauron's sacred trust,  
Remember Witch-King's warlike thrust(3),-  
And set the cave trolls on the just,  
Moredor, My Moredor!

.

Come! 'tis the red dawn of the day,  
Moredor, My Moredor!  
Come with thy Orcish array,  
Moredor, My Moredor!  
The Ring will be found in the fray,  
The Wizard's blood be shed today,  
Where there's a troll there is a way(4)!  
Moredor, My Moredor!

.

Come! for thy Ring is bright and strong,  
Moredor, My Moredor!  
Come! for their galance(5) does them wrong,  
Moredor, My Moredor!  
Come! to thine own heroic throng,  
Stalking with your mace along,  
And sing a very evil song!  
Moredor, My Moredor!

.

Dear Mordor! make the tyrant's chain,  
Moredor, My Moredor!  
Harad should not call in vain!  
Moredor, My Moredor!  
She meets the free-race on the plain-  
"For Tyrants" is the proud refrain  
We'll send the elves from whence they came,  
Moredor, My Moredor!

.

I see the pimple(6) on thy cheek,  
Moredor, My Moredor!  
For thou wast ever bravely meek,  
Moredor, My Moredor!  
But lo! There surges forth a shriek  
From the Nazgûl to the creek-  
Poor Khamûl's looking rather peak,  
Moredor, My Moredor!

.

Thou wields again the mighty troll,  
Moredor, My Moredor!  
though they have little self-control,  
Moredor, My Moredor!  
Let the mountain's fire flow,  
Or pound them with a thumping pole,  
Then when you're done if any're whole,  
Send them down the hall to roll!(7)

.

I hear the Mordor Thunder-hum,  
Moredor, My Moredor!  
The Troll Band's bugle, fife, and drum,  
Moredor, My Moredor!  
They will make you deaf and dumb  
If you listen to their drum  
They breathe! They burn! They'll come! They'll come!  
Moredor, My Moredor!

 **Please review and feel free to suggest!**

 **(1): I can't say that this is Confederate because Maryland never seceded and I have never heard of it being sung by or popular with Confederate soldiers/citizens, however, it is pro-Confederate.**

 **(2): This phrase is in the original song. I thought it was rather interesting.**

 **(3): Referring to the Morgul-Blade-Stabbing-Of-Frodo incident.**

 **(4): Where there's a will, there's a way (I hate that phrase).**

 **(5): Apparently, the noun form of 'gallant' is 'gallant.' However, that does not make sense in the context. So, galance.**

 **(6): I suppose Mount Doom could faintly resemble a pimple.**

 **(7): You all had better recognize that.**


	42. Meat's back on the menu boys

**He ain't gonna fight no more (what a helluva way to die/blood upon the risers)**

 **I happened to stumble upon this while looking for the tune of the previous song. It's not about the Civil War, but it is about the military.**

 **WARNING: This is** _ **somewhat**_ **graphic. If you are squeamish (and I mean** _ **VERY**_ **squeamish (it's not very bad at all), as in you have to hold down vomit at the mention of an intestine), don't read this (but please leave a review anyway).**

He was just a measly raider,

And he surely shook with fright

As he checked all his equipment

And he made sure his pack was tight.

He had to sit and listen to those gallant cave-trolls roar

"You ain't gonna fight no more!"

.

GORY, GORY, MEAT IS BACKONTHEMEN-U BOYS!

GORY, GORY, MEAT IS BACKONTHEMEN-U BOYS!

GORY, GORY, MEAT IS BACKONTHEMEN-U BOYS!

AND IT AIN'T GONNA FIGHT NOT MORE!

.

"Has everybody eaten?", cried Sir Uglûck, looking up,

Our hero answered "no more bread" and then they stood him up

They leapt upon his body and his head was on the ground

HE AIN'T GONNA FIGHT NO MORE

.

GORY, GORY, MEAT IS BACKONTHEMEN-U BOYS!

GORY, GORY, MEAT IS BACKONTHEMEN-U BOYS!

GORY, GORY, MEAT IS BACKONTHEMEN-U BOYS!

AND IT AIN'T GONNA FIGHT NOT MORE!

.

He counted long, he counted loud, he waited for the shock

He felt the wind, he felt the sun, he wanted for the shade

The sword swung fast, his head fell off and thudded to the ground,

HE AIN'T GONNA FIGHT NO MORE!

.

GORY, GORY, MEAT IS BACKONTHEMEN-U BOYS!

GORY, GORY, MEAT IS BACKONTHEMEN-U BOYS!

GORY, GORY, MEAT IS BACKONTHEMEN-U BOYS!

AND IT AIN'T GONNA FIGHT NOT MORE!

.

The orcs all jumped upon his neck, their elbows cracked his dome

The teeth bit hard and gnawed and gnawed, around his skinny bones

Their bodies then became his shourd, he sheltered on the ground,

AND HE AIN'T GONNA FIGHT NO MORE

.

GORY, GORY, MEAT IS BACKONTHEMEN-U BOYS!

GORY, GORY, MEAT IS BACKONTHEMEN-U BOYS!

GORY, GORY, MEAT IS BACKONTHEMEN-U BOYS!

AND IT AIN'T GONNA FIGHT NOT MORE!

.

The days he's lived and loved and laughed kept running through his mind,

He thought about the orcs back home, the ones he left behind,

He thought about the cannibals and wondered what they'd find,

HE AIN'T GONNA FIGHT NO MORE!

.

GORY, GORY, MEAT IS BACKONTHEMEN-U BOYS!

GORY, GORY, MEAT IS BACKONTHEMEN-U BOYS!

GORY, GORY, MEAT IS BACKONTHEMEN-U BOYS!

AND IT AIN'T GONNA FIGHT NOT MORE!

.

The Uruk-Hai were on the spot, the trolls were running wild,

The Uruks jumped and screamed with glee, rolled their sleeves and

smiled

For it had been a week or more since last they'd had some meat

AND IT AIN'T GONNA FIGHT NO MORE

.

GORY, GORY, MEAT IS BACKONTHEMEN-U BOYS!

GORY, GORY, MEAT IS BACKONTHEMEN-U BOYS!

GORY, GORY, MEAT IS BACKONTHEMEN-U BOYS!

AND IT AIN'T GONNA FIGHT NOT MORE!

.

A troll stepped down, the sound was "SPLATT", his blood went spurting high

His comrades then were heard to say "meat's backonthemen-u boys!"

He lay there rolling 'round in the welter of his gore

HE AIN'T GONNA FIGHT NO MORE!

.

GORY, GORY, MEAT IS BACKONTHEMEN-U BOYS!

GORY, GORY, MEAT IS BACKONTHEMEN-U BOYS!

GORY, GORY, MEAT IS BACKONTHEMEN-U BOYS!

AND IT AIN'T GONNA FIGHT NOT MORE!

.

(sing this verse comically slow)

.

There was blood upon the Uruks, there were brains upon his boots

Intestines were a'dangling from his Orc armor and suit,

They picked him up, without his head, and poured him from his boots.

HE AIN'T GONNA FIGHT NO MORE!

.

GORY, GORY, MEAT IS BACKONTHEMEN-U BOYS!

GORY, GORY, MEAT IS BACKONTHEMEN-U BOYS!

GORY, GORY, MEAT IS BACKONTHEMEN-U BOYS!

AND IT AIN'T GONNA FIGHT NOT MORE!

.

 **Please review and feel free to suggest!**


	43. Hard Tack Come Again No More

**Thanks to LadyOfAnfalas for reviewing!**

 **Hard Tack Come Again No More**

 **This is a parody of a parody of "Hard Times Come Again no More".**

Let us close our game of stabbing, take our scimitars in our hands

As we all stand by the cook's tent door

As dried mummies of dried bread are handed to each orc,

O, orc bread, come again no more!

.

'Tis the song, the sigh of the hungry:

"Orc bread, orc bread come again no more."

Many days you have lingered upon our stomachs sore.

O, orc bread, come again no more!

.

'Tis a hungry, thirsty Uruk who wears his life away

In torn clothes—his better days are o'er.

And he's sighing now for orc-draught in a voice as dry as hay,

O orc bread, come again no more!"

 _._

'Tis the song, the sigh of the hungry:

"Orc bread, orc bread come again no more."

Many days you have lingered upon our stomachs sore.

O, orc bread, come again no more!

 _._

'Tis the wail that is heard in the camp both night and day,

'Tis the murmur that's mingled with each snore.

'Tis the sighing of the stomach for manflesh far away,

"O, orc bread come again no more!"

.

'Tis the song, the sigh of the hungry:

"Orc bread, orc bread come again no more."

Many days you have lingered upon our stomachs sore.

O, orc bread, come again no more!

.

But to all these cries and murmurs, there comes a sudden hush

A frail form just dropped dead near the door. ,

For they feed us now on orc meat that the cooks call steak!

O, orc bread, come again once more!

.

'Tis the dying wail of the starving:

"O, orc bread, orc bread come again once more!"

You were old and full of maggots, but we pass your failings o'er.

O, orc bread come again once more!

.

 **Alternate version:**

Let us close our game of mining, take our gold cups in our hands

As we all stand by the cook's stone door

As dried mummies of dale cram are handed to each dwarf

O, Dale cram, come again no more!

.

'Tis the song, the sigh of the hungry:

"Dale cram Dale cram, come again no more."

Many days you have lingered upon our stomachs sore.

O, Dale cram, come again no more!'

.

'Tis a hungry, thirsty dwarf who wears his life away

In torn heart—his better days are o'er.

And he's sighing now for mountain hearts from great King Thor's day,

"O, Dale Cram come again no more!"

.

'Tis the song, the sigh of the hungry:

"Dale cram Dale cram, come again no more."

Many days you have lingered upon our stomachs sore.

O, Dale cram, come again no more!'

.

'Tis the wail that is heard in the mountain night and day,

'Tis the murmur that's mingled with each snore.

'Tis the sighing of the hobbit for his armchair far away,

"O, Dale cram, come again no more!"

.

'Tis the song, the sigh of the hungry:

"Dale cram Dale cram, come again no more."

Many days you have lingered upon our stomachs sore.

O, Dale cram, come again no more!'

.

But to all these cries and murmurs, there comes a sudden hush

As elf forms are marching by the door,

For they feed us now on gold coins that Thorin calls money!

O, Dale cram, come again once more!

.

'Tis the dying wail of the starving:

"O, Dale cram, Dale cram, come again once more!"

You were dry and thick and tasteless but we pass your failings o'er.

O, Dale cram, come again once more!

.

 **Please review and feel free to suggest!**


	44. Camping in the Old Mountain

**Tenting in the Old Mountain (Tenting on the Old Campground)**

We're camping tonight in the old mountain,

Give us a song of war

Our weary hearts, a song of home

And our friends outside the door.

 _._

Many are the hearts that are weary tonight,

Wishing for the seige to cease;

Many are the hearts looking for the right

To see the dawn of peace.

Camping tonight, Camping tonight,

Camping on the Old Mountain.

.

We've been camping tonight in the Old Mountain,

Thinking of days gone by,

Of the loved ones at home that gave us the hand,

And the tear that said, "Good-bye!"

.

Many are the hearts that are weary tonight,

Wishing for the siege to cease;

Many are the hearts looking for the right

To see the dawn of peace.

Camping tonight, Camping tonight,

Camping on the Old Mountain.

.

The lone king dwarf and hopes with a sigh

That the Arkenstone will be found

But the little one there is keeping it safe,

In his bundle where he sleeps.

.

Many are the hearts that are weary tonight,

Wishing for the siege to cease;

Many are the hearts looking for the right

To see the dawn of peace.

Camping tonight, Camping tonight,

Camping on the Old Mountain.

.

We are sleeping tonight in the old mountain.

The fires are flickering bright.

Still we are the sleepers that lie around,

As the hobbits come and go.

.

Many are the hearts that are weary tonight,

Wishing for the siege to cease;

Many are the hearts looking for the right

To see the dawn of peace.

Camping tonight, Camping tonight,

Camping on the Old Mountain.

.

Alas for that wizard of days gone by

Whose form is missed tonight.

Alas for the hobbit who gives away jewels

Where the Elven king keeps his host

.

Many are the hearts that are weary tonight,

Wishing for the siege to cease;

Many are the hearts looking for the right

To see the dawn of peace.

Camping tonight, Camping tonight,

Camping on the Old Mountain.

.

No more on the march but on a field of strife

Still they lie so tired and worn,

For to rouse again to hope and life

When the sound of drums beat at morn.

.

Many are the hearts that are weary tonight,

Wishing for the siege to cease;

Many are the hearts looking for the right

To see the dawn of peace.

Camping tonight, Camping tonight,

Camping on the Old Mountain.

.

We are tired of cram in the old mountain,

Our food has been eaten and gone,

The brave and true who've left their homes,

Have been besieging us long.

.

Many are the hearts that are weary tonight,

Wishing for the siege to cease;

Many are the hearts looking for the right

To see the dawn of peace.

Camping tonight, Camping tonight,

Camping on the Old Mountain.

.

We've been fighting today on the old mountain

Many are lying near;

Some are dead, and some are dying,

Many are in tears.

.

Many are the hearts that are happy tonight,

Glad that the siege has ceased;

But many of the hearts that have fought for the right,

Can't see the dawn of peac.

Dying tonight, dying tonight,

Dying on the old mountain

Dying tonight, dying tonight,

Dying by the mountain.

 **Please review and feel free to suggest!**


	45. Do The Miss Me In the Battle

**Thanks to LadyOfAnfalas for reviewing!**

 **Do they Miss Me In the Battle (Do They Miss Me At Home/Do They Miss me in the Trenches)**

Do they miss me back there, do they miss me?  
'Twould be an assurance, most dear,  
I hope at that this moment some watch-dwarf  
Is not saying that, "Bilbo's not here;"  
To feel that the group at the fireside  
Wern't thinking of me as I roam,  
Oh, yes, 'twould be joy beyond measure,  
To know that they missed my descent,  
To know that they missed my descent.

Do they miss me in the battle, do they miss me?  
When arrows fly thickly around?  
Do they know that I've been knocked unconscious

While wishing for my hole in the ground?  
But the goblins where stabbing so near me,  
It seemed best for me to run;  
And though some laughed as I wandered,  
I could not discover the fun, No,  
I could not discover the fun.

I often went up to the dwarf-wall,  
When some man is near out of sight,  
And wave my sword around me,  
To make the dwarves think that I'll fight.  
But when the Goblins attacked us,  
I ran to tree down the hill;  
I swear my legs never will stay there,  
Though all may stay there who will, yes,  
Though all may stay there who will.

I'll save myself though the dread struggle,  
And when the great battle is o'er  
They won't find me for my ring,  
Made me as invisible as I was before.  
I'll say that I've fought them as bravely  
As the best of my comrades who fell,  
And swear most roundly to all others  
I never had fears of a goblin,  
No, I never had fears of an orc.

 **Please review and feel free to suggest!**


	46. For My Dear Precious I Die

**Thanks to LadyOfAnfalas and Amateur Bacon Cook for reviewing!**

 **For My Dear Precious I Die (For the Dear Old Flag I Die, Union)**

 **Amateur Bacon Cook: I believe they did have trenches, but they were not used anywhere near as extensively as they were in World War I. The song in question also mentions shooting at Yankees, which implies a Confederate point of view, making me think it is from the Civil War.**

 **This happens to be my 100** **th** **Lord of the Rings song parody (this group combined with my Christmas carol parodies). Incidentally, this group of parodies is nearing the size of my Christmas carol parodies, but with barely half the reviews. What happened there? Reviews, people!**

"For my dear Precious I die",  
Said the sinking Gollum thing;  
"I will, press your lips to mine;  
O, they bring me peace and joy!,  
Tis the last time on the earth  
I shall ever see your face,  
Lava take me to your heart,  
Let me die in your embrace(1).

"For my dear precious I die,  
Smeagol, dry your weeping eye;  
For dishonor of our heart  
And the dear precious I die.

"Do not mourn, Sauron the Dark,  
Every pang will soon be o'er;  
For I hear the Free-race band  
Calling from their starry shore;  
Now I see their banners wave  
In the light of breaking day,  
They want to part with you,  
You do not wish to say.

.

"For my dear precious I die,  
Smeagol, dry your weeping eye;  
For dishonor of our heart  
And the dear precious I die.

.

"Farewell precious, Doom's warm hand

Weighs upon my body now,

And I feel its scalding breath

Fan my pallid cheek and brow.

I'll hold up real high,

Let me feel that you are dry,

While my sight is growing dim,

For my dear precious I die.

.

"For my dear precious I die,  
Smeagol, dry your weeping eye;  
For dishonor of our heart  
And the dear precious I die."

 **Gollum/Smeagol came out rather eloquent in this song.**

 **Please review and feel free to suggest!**

 **(1): I think what he really said was more along the lines of "PRECIOUS! PRECIOUS!"**


	47. Hold On Frodo Bag

**Thanks to LadyOfAnfalas for reviewing!**

 **Hold on Frodo Bag. (Hold on Abraham, Union)**

 **This is a bit repetitive (so is the original), and it had lots of "Dixie"s, which I can't really do much with (Tolkien can't seem to make many names shorter than three syllables.).**

We're going down to Mordor, to Mordor, to Mordor,

We're going down to Mordor, to fight for the hobbits two;

And should we fall in Mordor, in Mordor, in Mordor,

And should we fall in Mordor, we'll die for the hobbits two.

.

Hold on Frodo Bag,

Never say die to your Gardner Sam;

Aragorn's boys are coming right along,

Six hundred thousand strong.

.

Our Flag shall float o'er Mordor, o'er Mordor, o'er Mordor,

Our Flag shall float o'er Mordor, The green, the gold, the white;

We'll ne'er give up 'till Sauron, 'till, Sauron, 'till Sauron,

We'll ne'er give up 'till Sauron, sings "Old Frodo Baggins".

.

Hold on Frodo bag,

Never say die to your Gardner Sam;

Aragorn's boys are coming right along,

Six hundred thousand strong.

.

Hold on Frodo bag,

Never say die to your Gardner Sam;

Aragorn's boys are coming right along,

Six hundred thousand strong.

.

Hold on Frodo bag,

Never say die to your Gardner Sam;

Aragorn's boys are coming right along,

Six hundred thousand strong.

.

Our Gondor's bound for Mordor, for Mordor, for Mordor,

Our Gondor's bound for Mordor, with a million boys or two:

He'll never give up Mordor, old Mordor, old Mordor,

He'll never give up Mordor, 'till she's gone with her cave-trolls true.

.

Hold on Frodo bag,

Never say die to your Gardner Sam;

Aragorn's boys are coming right along,

Six hundred thousand strong.

.

Young Baggins he's in Mordor, in Mordor, in Mordor,

Young Baggins he's in Mordor, and throwing out the ring:

Do you think he'll give up Mordor, old Mordor, old Mordor,

Do you think he'll give up Mordor, oh, no no no no no no.

.

Hold on Frodo bag,

Never say die to your Gardner Sam;

Aragorn's boys are coming right along,

Six hundred thousand strong.

.

Bold Gollum fell in Mordor, in Mordor, in Mordor,

Bold Gollum fell in Mordor, while fighting for the ring:

And there is Samewise Gamgee, our Gamgee, our Gamgee,

And there is Samwise Gamgee, he will avenge his fall.

.

Hold on Frodo bag,

Never say die to your Gardner Sam;

Aragorn's boys are coming right along,

Six hundred thousand strong.

.

And where is Gandalf the White, our Gandalf, our Gandalf,

And where is "Fool-a-Took Gandalf," he's gone to Mordor town:

And there he keeps a stir'ing, a stir'ing, a strir'ing,

And there he keeps a strir'ing, the evil all around.

.

Brave Shelob's come from Mordor, from Mordor, from Mordor,

Brave Shelob'ss come from Mordor, to eat the dead bodies.

She's going back to Mordor, to Mordor, to Mordor,

She's going back to Mordor, with her belly full and strong.

.

Hold on Frodo bag,

Never say die to your Gardner Sam;

Aragorn's boys are coming right along,

Six hundred thousand strong.

.

Our friends have gone to Mordor, to Mordor, to Mordor,

Our friends have gone to Mordor, to fight for the hobbits two:

And we're all going to Mordor, to Mordor, to Mordor,

And we're all going to Mordor, to stand by the hobbits two.

 **Please review and feel free to suggest!**


	48. Old Gandalf the Grey

**Thanks to Amateur Bacon Cook for reviewing!**

 **Old Gandalf the Grey (Old Rosin the Beau,)**

I've traveled this world all over

And now to another I go

And I know that good quarters are waiting

To welcome old Gandalf the Grey

.

To welcome old Gandalf the Grey, me boys!

To welcome old Gandalf the Grey

I know that good quarters are waiting

To welcome old Gandalf the Grey.

.

When I take the ship to the far shores,

A voice you will hear from behind

Saying "Send down a barrel of pipeweed

To smoke with old Gandalf the Grey"

.

To smoke with old Gandalf the Grey", me boys!

To smoke with old Gandalf the Grey"

Saying "Send down a barrel of pipeweed"

For to smoke with old Gandalf the Grey.

.

Then get a half dozen stout hobbits

And send 'em all out on a quest

Let them kill dragons and real evil Maiars

For the memory of Gandalf the Grey

.

To the memory of Gandalf the Grey, me boys!

To the memory of Gandalf the Grey

Let them kill dragons and real evil Maiars

To the memory of Gandalf the Grey.

.

Then get this half dozen stout hobbits

And let them all stagger and go

And find a ship to the Grey Havens

And in it put Gandalf the Grey

.

And in it put Gandalf the Grey, me boys!

And in it put Gandalf the Grey

And find a ship to the grey havens,

And in it put Gandalf the Grey.

.

Then get ye a couple more hobbits,

Put one at me head and me toe

The red book will be left behind them,

But not good old Gandalf the Grey

.

But not good old Gandalf the Grey, me boys!

But not good old Gandalf the Grey

The red book will be left behind them,

But not good old Gandalf the Grey

.

I've only this one consolation

As out of this world I go

I know that the next generation

Will remember old Gandalf the Grey

.

Will remember old Gandalf the Grey, me boys!

Will remember old Gandalf the Grey

I know that the next generation

Will remember old Gandalf the Grey.

.

I hear the old hobbits approaching

The Bagginses from Bag End.

And I lift up me glass in their honor

Take a drink with old Gandalf the Grey

.

Take a drink with old Gandalf the Grey, me boys!

Take a drink with old Gandalf the Grey

And I lift up me glass in their honor

Take a drink with old Gandalf the Grey.

 **Please review and feel free to suggest!**


	49. We are Coming Dark Lord Sauron

**Thanks to LadyOfAnfalas for reviewing!**

 **We are Coming Dark Lord Sauron (We are Coming, Father Abr'am, Union)**

We are coming, Dark Lord Sauron, 300,000 more,  
From Isengard's winding stream and out thorough Rohon's door.  
We leave our plows and workshops, our wizard and our fear,  
With hearts too full for utterance, with but a sword and spear.  
We dare not look behind us but steadfastly before.  
We are coming, Dark Lord Sauron, 300,000 more!

We are coming, we are coming the Evil cause restore,  
We are coming, Dark Lord Sauron, 300,000 more!

If you look across the hilltops that meet the western sky(1)  
Long moving lines of rising dust your vision may descry;  
And now the wind, an instant, tears the cloudy veil aside,  
And floats aloft our White Hand flag in glory and in pride;  
And Uruks in the sunlight gleam, and blood out of helmets pour,  
We are coming, Dark Lord Sauron, three hundred thousand more!

We are coming, we are coming the Evil cause restore,  
We are coming, Dark Lord Sauron, 300,000 more!

If you look up all our valleys where the spreading fires shine,  
You may see our sturdy Uruk-Hai fast forming into line;  
And children from the Great Mud Pit are pulling at some more,  
And learning how to fight and burn like their parents did before;  
And a farewell group stands cheering at the only tower door,  
We are coming, Dark Lord Sauron, three hundred thousand more!

We are coming, we are coming the Evil cause restore,  
We are coming, Dark Lord Sauron, 300,000 more!

You have called us, and we're coming by Rohan's bloody tide,  
To be laid down for evil's sake, our brothers' bones beside;  
Our foul treasonous savage group will wrench the murderous spade;  
Out of the hands of hobbits and stick them with a blade.  
Six hundred thousand Uruk-Hai and berserkers have gone before,  
We are coming, Dark Lord Sauron, 300,000 more!

We are coming, we are coming the Evil cause restore,  
We are coming, Dark Lord Sauron, 300,000 more!

 **Please review and feel free to suggest!**

 **(1): Sauron would look west to Isengard…I think.**


	50. Marching Song of the Shire Hobbits

**Thanks to LadyOfAnfalas for reviewing!**

 **Marching Song of the Shire (Marching Song of the First Arkensas, Union)**

Oh, we're the bully soldiers of the "Shire in the West,"

We are fighting for the Shire, we are fighting for the law,

We can hit an Uruk further than the Big Folk ever saw,

As we go marching on.

.

Glory, glory hallelujah.

Glory, glory hallelujah.

Glory, glory hallelujah.

As we go marching on.

.

See, there above the center, where the flag is waving bright,

We are going out of slavery; we're bound for freedom's light;

We mean to show Old Sharkey how the hobbit-folk can fight,

As we go marching on!

.

Glory, glory hallelujah.

Glory, glory hallelujah.

Glory, glory hallelujah.

As we go marching on.

.

We'll go back to hoeing cotton, we'll go back to hoeing corn,

But not until the Shire's free, as sure as you are born;

When the Ruffians hear us yelling, they will hear the Rohan horn,

As we go marching on.

.

Glory, glory hallelujah.

Glory, glory hallelujah.

Glory, glory hallelujah.

As we go marching on.

.

They will stop their nasty gathering, the giving will resume

They will run out of the Shirelands as quick as we can shoot

They will take their nasty houses or we'll burn them to the ground!

As we go marching on.

.

Glory, glory hallelujah.

Glory, glory hallelujah.

Glory, glory hallelujah.

As we go marching on.

.

We heard the call of Buckland and are rushing to the fight,

The horn of horns is singing and the sheriffs left to fight.

And the hobbits with their hunting bows just couldn't keep them still,

As they went shooting on.

.

Glory, glory hallelujah.

Glory, glory hallelujah.

Glory, glory hallelujah.

As we go marching on.

.

We said, "Now Hobbits of this land shall fight for their simplicity."

For the Forth Age of Middle Earth began not long ago

We are fighting for the rivers and the trees you cut with glee

As we go fighting on.

.

Glory, glory hallelujah.

Glory, glory hallelujah.

Glory, glory hallelujah.

As we go marching on.

.

 **Please review and feel free to suggest!**


	51. The Flag of the Red Eye

**Thanks to LadyOfAnfalas for reviewing!**

 **The Flag of the Red Eye (Flag of Secession, Confederate)**

 **This is from Sauron's viewpoint.**

Oh, say can't you see by the dawn's early light  
What you yesterday held to be vanquished and dying,  
The Mordor orcs routed, The Dark Lord in flight,  
And the flag of the tree o'er the lava-lands streaming?  
The manflesh for fare,  
The foul fetid air,  
Gave proof through the night that the Uruks were there;  
Now the flag of the red eye in triumph doth wave  
O'er the land that's for me band the home of the slaves

'Midst the dust that is raised by the free-races fees,  
Their acts of coercion now bitterly rueing,  
See the Eleven host running in panting retreat,  
And gallant Nazgûl 4 in laughter pursuing;  
Now he catches a beam  
Of the Great Eye's fierce gleam,  
And he hurries away with a jump and a scream;  
And the flag of the Red Eye in triumph doth wave  
O'er the land that's for me and the home of the slaves.

But where is the hobbit who came to our soil,  
In the garb of the soldier - his minion disguising,  
And brought my great ring, and it tried to spoil,  
We only can say that his speed is surprising;  
Through the lava he'd wade  
But he was too afraid  
He has leapt in his fears on our spears that we made;  
And the flag of the Red Eye in triumph doth wave  
O'er the land that's for me and the home of the slaves.

Oh, such is the welcome that Mordor bestows  
On the minions who strive to make slaves of our nation,  
We've a sword for our friends but the spear for our foes,  
And the charge of our soldiers in fierce exultation;  
Then again to the fight,  
And wield the troll's might,  
And great Gondor shall shake from our warriors' might,  
And the flag of the Red Eye in triumph doth wave  
O'er the land that's for me and the home of the slaves.

 **Please review and feel free to suggest!**


	52. The Seige of Rohan

**Thanks to LadyOfAnfalas for reviewing!**

 **The Siege of Rohan (The Siege of Vicksburg)**

'Twas at the siege of Rohan

Of Rohan

Of Rohan

'Twas at the siege of Rohan

When the Uruk-Hai were whistling though the air

.

Listen to the Uruk-Hai

Listen to the Uruk-Hai

The Uruk-Hai were whistling through the air

Listen to the Uruk-Hai

Listen to the Uruk-Hai

The Uruk-Hai where whistling through the air..

.

How well I will remember

Remember

Remember

The charge of Gandalf with horses

And the bombs a-blowing up into the air

.

Listen to the Uruk bombs

Listen to the Uruk bombs

The bombs a-blowing up into the air

Listen to the Uruk bombs

Listen to the Uruk bombs

The bombs a-blowing up into the air

.

 **Please review and feel free to suggest!**


	53. Nearer, My Ring to Me

**Near, My Ring to me (Nearer, my God to Thee, N/A)**

 **For the second time ever (the first being after hearing an exceptionally horrible rendition of "The First Noel" and writing an equally horrible parody), I'm breaking my rule about not parodying religious songs. The song choice has nothing to do with the event most call "9/11" (see extensive footnote). It just happens to be on the same day (and not even that, the years are different).**

 **This was played by the Confederate bands after Pickett's charge, according to several sources. I would have liked to post this on the anniversary of said charge (July 3), but I don't think this list of songs will make it until then.**

Nearer, my ring, to me, nearer to me!

E'en though it be Khamûl that brings it to me;

Still all my orcs shall be nearer, my ring, to me,

Nearer my ring to me, nearer to me!

.

It's with a wanderer, from Shire's downs,

Ash will be over him, covering his bones.;

Yet in my dreams I'll be nearer, my ring to thee,

Nearer my ring to me, nearer to me.

.

There let the way appear steps into Doom;

And all my Nazgûl will build the Hobbit's tomb;

Cave trolls to beckon me nearer, my ring, to me

Nearer my ring to me, Nearer to me.

.

Then with my waking thoughts of the great raze

Out of its stony griefs Evil I'll raise;

So by my foes to be nearer, my ring to me

Nearer my ring to me, Nearer to me.

.

Or if on fell-beast wing, cleaving the sky,

Dwarf-lords and Elves forgot, upwards I fly,

Still all my ring shall be, nearer, my ring, to me

Nearer my ring to me, Nearer to me.

.

There in my Mordor home, safe and at rest,

There with my Nazgûl true, they beat all the rest.

Age after age to be, nearer my ring to me

Nearer my ring to me, nearer to me.

.

 **Please review and feel free to suggest!**

 **Warning: You might find the following rant offensive. Read at your own risk.**

 **Congratulations! You were not daunted by a poorly worded warning!**

 **As with my other rants, if you wish to respond to this, I'd like you to sent me a PM instead of leaving a review about it (but please leave a review of the song). After all, this has nothing to do with the topic of this Fanfiction page.**

" **On this day 14 years ago, a group of people hijacked planes filled with more people, and crashed them into buildings filled with yet more people. I ask you to join me in a moment of silence for those who died…" I'm sure that most of you, at least those who are American, have been treated to at least one version of this speech today. I believe that we should just shut up about it. It happened 14 years ago; get over it. I do not pretend or claim to understand human emotions, but if I were to lose a loved one in such an event, I would appreciate it if the public would just shut up and let me (and them) move it not occurred to you that by mourning, making overly sappy statements, and shutting down our normal activities (some call this "commemoration"), we are doing exactly what the terrorists want? They want us to fear them, hate them, and even kill them- it gives them power.  
**


	54. The First Man is Shot Down

**Thanks to LadyOfAnfalas for reviewing!**

 **The First Man is Shot Down (The First Gun is Fired, Confederate)**

 **I apologize for missing the last three updates.**

The first man is shot down!  
May trolls kill all the right!  
Let the Orchish sons of the East arise  
In Evil's avenging night;  
The glorious kingdoms thier father's have made,  
By ruthless hands be sunder'd,  
And by we of oppression's troll-bound might  
The trait'rous foes be plunder'd.

.

Arise! arise! arise!  
And gird ye for the fight,  
And let our watchword ever be,  
"May trolls kill all the right!"

.  
The first man is screaming!  
Its echoes thrill the land,  
And the bounding hearts of the Evil throng,  
Now firmly take their stand;  
We will bow no more to the freeing few,  
Who scorn our long forbearing,  
But with the banner of the Mordor eye  
We'll quench their realm of caring.

.

Arise! arise! arise!  
And gird ye for the fight,  
And let our watchword ever be,  
"May trolls kill all the right!"

.  
The first man is dieing!  
Oh, heed the signal well,  
And the troll-drum(1) tone as it rolls along  
Shall sound oppression's knell;  
For the arm of freedom is mighty still,  
And its strength shall fail forever,  
Its strength shall fail forever,  
By our strength we'll give to our wrongful cause,  
And our glorious land forever.

.

Arise! arise! arise!  
And gird ye for the fight,  
And let our watchword ever be,  
"May trolls kill all the right!"

 **Please review and feel free to suggest!**

 **(1): Am I the only one who finds the movie scene with the trolls banging the drums amusing?**

 **LadyOfAnfalas: The Uruk-Hai were defiantly flying through the air on their ladders. Whether or not they were whistling is a matter of opinion. They may have been going fast enough.**


	55. An orc with no spear

**An orc with no spear (A pub with no beer)**

 _It's lonesome away from your kindred and all_  
 _By the campfire at night where the wild trolls fall_  
 _But there's nothin' so lonesome, so dull or so drear_  
 _Than to stand 'round and wait with an orc with no spear_

 _Now the company's anxious tor the quota to come_  
 _There's a faraway look on the troll with his drum_  
 _The leader's all cranky and the cook's acting queer_  
 _What a terrible thing is an orc with no spear_

 _A Nazgûl rides up with his Morgul blade hilt_  
 _He walks into a tent, pulls a note from his coat_  
 _But the scowl on his face quickly turns to a sneer_  
 _When the leader cries out: "These orcs got not spears!"_

 _There's a troll on the doorstep, for Uruks he waits_  
 _But the boss is inside getting drunk with his mates_  
 _He hurries for cover and he cringes in fear_  
 _There's no place for a troll round an orc with no spear_

 _Then in comes Saruman with all his smooth lies_  
 _He throws down his bomb, wipes the sweat from his eyes_  
 _But when he is told he says, "What's this I hear?_  
 _I've walked five-thousand miles to some orcs with no spears?"_

 _Old Grishnakh, the blacksmith, the first time in his life_  
 _Has gone home cold sober to the land of the Eye_  
 _The Nazgûl all say: "You're back early, me dear"_

 _Then he breaks down and tells them "The orcs got no spears"_

 _It's lonesome away from your kindred and all_  
 _By the campfire at night where the wild trolls fall_  
 _But there's nothin' so lonesome, so dull or so drear_  
 _Than to stand 'round and wait with an orc with no spear_

 **Please review and feel free to suggest!**


	56. Wars go Ever On and On

**Thanks to LadyOfAnfalas, Amateur Bacon Cook, TrollingTauriel, KirkCapitain, Astaldown, Sherman1865, and Kyouki no kitsune for reviewing at some point!**

 **It saddens me to tell you that this is the last update I will be making. I'll save the long speech for the footnote. This is a reverse parody: A song from the Lord of the Rings was changed to be loosely based on the Civil War, actually just wars in general. It's not really intended to be humorous. I would have changed more, but most of the original lyrics fit the new theme.**

 **Wars go Ever On and On (Roads Go Ever On and On/The Old Walking Song, N/A)**

Wars go ever on and on  
Over fields and under trees,  
In caves where never sun has shone,  
Through streams that never find the sea;  
Over snow by winter sown,  
And through the merry flowers of June,  
Over grass and over stone,  
And under mountains in the moon.  
Wars go ever on and on  
Under cloud and under star,  
Yet feet that to the fight have gone  
Turn at last to home afar.  
Eyes that fire and sword have seen  
And horror in the flesh and bone  
Look at last on meadows green  
And trees and hills they long have known.

The war goes ever on and on  
All 'round the country where it began.  
For long now has the war gone on.  
Let others fight in it who can!  
Let them a battle new begin,  
But I at last with weary feet  
Will turn towards the lighted inn,  
My evening-rest and sleep to meet. 

Still round the corner there may wait  
A musket ball or bayonet(1),  
And though I oft have passed them by,  
A day will come at last when I  
Shall take the hidden paths that run  
West of the Moon, East of the Sun.

 **I have come to the general conclusion that you do not want to be sitting here reading this and I do not want to be sitting here writing this. Therefore, I will keep this as short as possible: Please review!**

 **I could not resist that. Seriously though, it has been fun writing these. I decided to wrap things up because I both ran out of time to write these and ran out of songs to parody. I thank all of you for reading, and some of you for reviewing (namely, those of you who reviewed). If you want more, I maintain list of Christmas carol parodies, currently with 54 chapters (1 less than this list, but with twice the reviews. What happened there?) that will be going into its third year this holiday season. On a side note, if you have not seen the movie** _ **Gettysburg**_ **, I highly recommend watching it. It gives an excellent portrayal of the battle with a great score as well. Not only that, but the timing and synchronization of the music is a step above the rest. The sequence with the Battle of Little Round Top must have been nearly impossible to time right, but they did it. I can go on and on about things like this, but I'll spare you. Now, let me write it one last time: Please review!**

 **(1): Pronounced "Bayonate"**


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